When It Comes to Pregnancy and Teens

January 25, 2010

I have been asked to speak to a group of training volunteers at the Life Choices Center[1] in Binghamton on February 8^th, 2010 about my story. They have gathered a few women who have had experience in certain areas dealing with pregnancy. My area is adoption.

I won’t get into the specifics, because that is not what I want this article to be about… my adoption story. However, I have had a long time to think about what I a m going to say at this meeting and about the question that were forwarded to me that will be asked about my experience.

However, I have come to one conclusion- that no matter what choice is made, it will always affect you. Once there is a pregnancy, the moment a child is conceived, there will be affects that are life changing. Whether you keep the baby, adopt out the baby, make the choice to abort the baby or even have a miscarriage, there is never any denying that you were pregnant at one point. And there is no way that the pregnancy will not affect you.

Pregnancy is a life changing event that now, in 2010 seems to be epidemic. For instance, The Pregnancy Pact, a Lifetime movie that premiered on January 23, 2010. It is a story of young girls in high school who made a secret pact to get pregnant and have babies together. However, I think the movie was more of that story intertwined with the story of the video blog reporter who too had a baby when she was 16 years old.

No matter what the plot line of the movie was, we can gather that they didn’t make this movie just because it was an idea that was brainstormed. There is a real issue with teen pregnancy, real issue with how to deal with it and a real issue on how to help the girls. Then again, the girls aren’t the only ones that need help. The boys need it to. That however, is beside the point. A really good question and a debate that I am sure will not end anytime soon, is: Should public and perhaps even private schools hand out contraceptives? Should we all get involved in helping our community rather than just our own kids?

I guess that question is a two way street. There is never a really straight forward answer because no one is ever really going to agree on one answer.

But there is one thing we can do- we can make it clear to all the kids that pregnancy should not be played with. It shouldn’t be a game, a contest or a pact. Pregnancy is a gift no matter what, it always will be. But that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t stop telling our kids that it is the best idea to wait for this gift. That getting your life on track and having a set plan is the best idea for you before a child comes into play. No matter how much it is said, it will always be true… pregnancy and sex is best saved for when you are married. Once you have sex, there is a chance of pregnancy no matter how many ways you try to protect yourself from it. The best way is to practice absence before marriage, because once you get pregnant, your life is changed.

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[1] The Life Choices Center is located at 93 Oak St. Binghamton, NY and provide free services to those who are pregnant that include but are not limited to: Free pregnancy tests with immediate result, One-on-one mentoring, Accurate information on your pregnancy options, Referrals for prenatal care, WIC and PCAP services, Maternity clothing and baby items, Pregnancy and fetal development information and a 24-hour helpline: 1-800-395-HELP(4357). They also have a website where all their information is posted including their hours. www.lifechoicescenter.org

BCC students get restless and look for answers

November 8, 2009

On November 4, 2009, a strike was coordinated by Tyrone Heppard and me on the Broome Community College campus against the Board of Trustees in hopes that something would soon change for the sake of the students, faculty and the future of the college itself.

The strike took place in the Student Center’s cafeteria at 11 am until 2:30 pm. There was entertainment including: bongo playing by Rashid, two bands: The Ryan & Arthur Band and No Way José, break dancing by Laine, Omari and others, and rapping by Tyrone. However, everyone was more concentrated on the petition that was being passed around.

Tyrone and I had our hands full though with something else, the media.

On Friday, October 30, 2009, Doug Schneider from the Press and Sun Bulletin contacted me about the press release I sent him just a few hours early that stated:

“On Wednesday November 4, 2009, there will be a Student Strike held in the Student Center Quad at Broome Community College at 11 AM. The reasoning behind the strike is to inform the BCC Board of Trustees that the students are standing with the Faculty and the Broome County Legislature: we do not approve of the BOT’s performance. Students are concerned about the effect of their faculty working without a contract. We are also concerned that the campus is without a permanent president. Both of these situations have been going on for nearly two years: for some of us, that’s our whole education here. This strike was organized by BCC students for BCC students. We are often accused of not being as engaged in our campus as other students. This is our chance to get involved and express our concerns to the Board of Trustees and the public. We are exercising our First Amendment rights to make it clear that we are aware of the issues facing our college and understand how they affect us. We are hoping for a sizable turnout for this event, and hope you will find it worth covering.”

Before Mr. Schneider called me, he called Tyrone. In my head I was preparing what I would say to the reporters if contacted, and hoped I had something good to say. When my phone rang and he said, “Hello Ashley? This is Doug Schneider from The Press and Sun Bulletin.” I became scared. My hands went clammy, and my temperature rose to something that felt like 200°. I remember some of the questions he asked. Things like: who, what, when, where and why? How big of a turn out do you expect? What is the next step after the strike? What made you come up with the idea to do this? How does this issue of no permanent president and no faculty contracts affect the students?

Although he asked me some really great questions, and I gather from his response of, “Wow, that is a really great point” (that he must have said about 50 times in a 17 minute period) that I must have said some really good comments and answers, although until I read some of my quotes in the paper on October 31 and November 2, I couldn’t remember one thing I said. I honestly do not know why I was so scared and nervous, but that 17 minute phone conversation seemed like an hour, and all I have to say is, thank God it was on the phone and not in person because I think it would have been a whole lot worse. However if I had to analyze why I was scared, I think that I would have to say it was because I knew he knew that I was one of the protest organizers and I felt like I had to be professional and articulate.

The press release was sent to four media outlets in the Binghamton area along with The Press and Sun Bulletin, they include: News Channel 34, WBNG TV Channel 12, Fox 40 and News 10 Now, in hopes that at least one would show up. On November 4, when 10:55 am rolled around and Tyrone and I were getting ready to make an announcement to begin the strike, 2 of the four channels showed up and by 11:10, the other two were there and the interviews were done.

I am not sure why, but I was more scared to talk to Mr. Schneider on the phone rather than talking to the news crew on camera in person. I was still very nervous and kind of unsure what to say, even though I had been through it many times in my head, recited it to many people who asked what was going on and why, and I even had to tell a reporter once already.

Just about the same questions were asked by the video media that were asked by the print media, except in a shorter amount of time and not as many. In the back of my mind, I kept reminding myself to not say something stupid that they may use in the broadcast. Yet, I said this, “We don’t really have too much of a say, and this is us saying that we do have something’s to say. We aren’t really mad, like get your pitchforks kind of thing. We just want to calmly tell you that we aren’t happy.” And with my luck, channel 12 thought that was a great comment to use on the 6:00 pm news. On top of all that, I have a habit of talking with my hands- not wanting to do so on camera, I resorted to facial expressions and head movements.

Overall, the strike was successful. After the strike ended, Tyrone and I, along with the help of a mutual friend, headed to Front Street where we held our signs that said things like “The Students and Faculty Stand Together” while passing motorists honked their horns and gave us thumbs up.

On Friday November 6, 2009, Tyrone and I handed a cover letter and a petition with 179 signatures to the secretary of the Board of Trustees. We will see what happens, if nothing, we will work on a second plan.

LETTER TO THE BOT

Dear Broome Community College Board of Trustees, November 6, 2009

Lately, you have been the front and center of many news stories. Some of which I am unsure you even know about.

Hi, my name is Ashley Vincent. You may not have heard, but with the help of my friend Tyrone Heppard, we organized a strike against you. He, I and many of the students are frustrated with your lack of motivation in your duties. We have taken notice in many of the issues here on campus and the large problems here are all tied back to you.

Our strike took place on November 4, 2009 in the Student Center cafeteria at 11am, and then moved it to Front Street at 3pm with picket signs. I don’t know if you heard the constant honking of horns there in the Wales building, but there were many, motorists who honked, waved and gave us thumbs up.

Honestly, we have no confidence in you. You have had many chances to show that you are worthy of our respect and have not done anything to gain it. Frankly, we are sick of it. We here all have voice; this is your job to make this college all that it can be. Right now, you are just throwing BCC away. We just want you to know that, we cannot just stand by and watch you not do anything to make BCC better.

Sincerely,

Ashley B. Vincent

Tyrone L. Heppard

And the BCC Students

Press Release- BCC STUDENT STRIKE

October 30, 2009

On Wednesday November 4, 2009, there will be a Student Strike held in the Student Center Quad at Broome Community College at 11 AM.

The reasoning behind the strike is to inform the BCC Board of Trustees that the students are standing with the Faculty and the Broome County Legislature: we do not approve of the BOT’s performance.

Students are concerned about the effect of their faculty working without a contract. We are also concerned that the campus is without a permanent president. Both of these situations have been going on for nearly two years: for some of us, that’s our whole education here.

This strike was organized by BCC students for BCC students. We are often accused of not being as engaged in our campus as other students. This is our chance to get involved and express our concerns to the Board of Trustees and the public. We are exercising our First Amendment rights to make it clear that we are aware of the issues facing our college and understand how they affect us.

We are hoping for a sizable turnout for this event, and hope you will find it worth covering.

Thank You,

Ashley B. Vincent

BCC Student

Tyrone L. Heppard

BCC Student

The Kids Are Out, Before Halloween is Even Here

October 30, 2009

They littered the sidewalks today. Little people- the ones not enough for first grade, and yet they were here on BCC campus. They weren’t here just for the heck of it- they were looking for something. CANDY! They had their pumpkin buckets and their costumes of fairies, insects and other things. I must admit, they were cuter than anything I have seen on this campus before.

They were practicing for tomorrow. Ahhh yes, tomorrow. October 31, 2009: the day of all Hallows Eve. The night that many suggest was created by the candy companies. The night of witches and ghosts, candy collecting and spooky doorsteps, scare you out-of-you-seat movies and bubbly pots and creaky doors music.

On one hand, it is the night that parents with young ones have to spend an hour dressing up their kids and painting their faces. Arranging a time to take them here, there and everywhere to show off their costumes and then up and down the streets of the local neighborhood… early so that when you get home when them, it is still light enough outside so that they can rummage through their new treasure before bed time.

One the other hand, it is a night where teens go on the attack because they are too old to trick-or-treat and too young for the cool Halloween parties. So they buy things like eggs, toilet paper and whip cream to decorate places that could land them with a ticket or with new bracelets and a vacation in jail.

Then there are those parties I mentioned. The parties where all the “older kids” dress up and dance to music all night long, then fall asleep because they just can handle being up that late, or because all the alcohol they consumed is suddenly taking them to a comatose state.

Anyway you shake it; Halloween can be a fun time- whether or not it is just a candy company conspiracy date.

Creatures and Costumes of All Kinds Take over BCC

October 29, 2009

Any other day, having the Broome Community College cafeteria packed just means that there are lots of hungry kids on campus. However, this is a different story.

I walked into the cafeteria- a place a rarely have time to visit and never really need to anyway. But I was on a mission this day. October 29, 2009. I have spent most of October planning my 3-year-old daughters Halloween costume, I never got to plan one for me. That’s okay though, I did however buy a very nice and festive Halloween shirt just a couple weeks ago.

Since I have been going to BCC for awhile, I know that when October rolls in, the plans are being finalized for the BCC Halloween Costume Contest held in the cafeteria, and this is exactly what drew me in today. Nothing was ordinary about the cafeteria today. There were spider webs hanging around, people with lots of makeup and dressed in things I am sure are not their everyday attire.

Through the bubbling pots and howling music, I could hear people whispering. “Did you see the Joker?” “Who is going to win?” The contest hadn’t begun yet and I too was already anxious to see what was in store. I had a laundry list of ideas that I thought would be present in costume form. Things like witches, goblins and ghosts with perhaps the occasional Freddie Kruger thrown in to the mix.

It was announced that there were eleven participants and that they would be judged by six people from the Student Assembly. As each contestant was called, the costume kept getting more and more interesting. To my surprise, there were no witches, no goblins and no Freddie Kruger. There was however, 1) The Joker- John 2) Gaara Naruto- Sam 3) Logan Wolverine- Jordan 4) Union Soldier and Southern Belle- Carter and Andrea 5) River Otter- Michael 6) Wolf- Katelin 7) Ghost- Daniel 8) Cat- Ryan 9) Scarecrow- Amy 10) Designated Drinker- Patricia 11) Dark Wizard- Patrick.

Some of the costumes were downright hilarious; some scared the bejesus out of me, and some were really well thought out. In the end though, there would only be one grand prize winner, a second and a third runner up, with cash prizes ranging from $50-$100. One by one, the winners were called. In third place: #4, in second place: #5 and the $100 grand prize went to #6: Katelin Wilson the Wolf.

“I heard she made the whole outfit herself. That is pretty impressive. I could have told you she would win,” said a BCC student who didn’t want to be identified.

Game 2 and it is Tied

October 29, 2009

In the back of my mind I am yelling, “Let’s go Red Sox!” only because anyone that is playing the Yankees and can essentially beat them, is a plus for Boston. So there I was, wearing my Boston hat, watching the 2009 World Series: Game 2, and with an awful turn of events, the Yankees end up winning 3-1 over the Phillies. Lesson learned: Don’t watch the game and perhaps the Yanks will lose.

There it was. The end of the 7th and the Yanks had two men on and one out. I thought for sure the Phillies were giving up and letting the Yankees take it. But when ex-Red Sox player Johnny Damon lined into a double play, Posada was not a happy camper on second.

Poor, poor Posada— thinking he was safe there on base, and he wasn’t. Man oh man did he throw a fit. Maybe this is where the line, “Why don’t you hike up your big girl panties…” comes into play.

Imagine me though- I was in all my glory when they thought that they had it clinched in that inning, so much so, that the Yankees manager, Joe Girardi stormed the field ready for a fight with the ref.

Then came the top of the eighth inning where Chase Utley grounded into double play and Shane Victorino out at second… the exact same play that just happened with Yanks in the inning before. How disappointing!

I kept yelling at the TV, “COME ON PHILLIES TAKE THEM OUT!” But they never did. The Yanks won. And now they are tied one game to one. The question still hangs in limbo: who will take it all? Ask me, and I will always say the Phillies- and not because I am their biggest fan- only because I don’t want the Yanks to win anything at all. Go Red Sox!

Butt In or Butt Out: Looking for a Solution

October 27, 2009

Citations: this seemed to be the main focus of the Butt In or Butt Out discussion held on October 27, 2009 at 11-1 pm in the Decker 201 lecture hall. (If you missed this lecture, there is another one being held 3:00 – 5:00 pm on the same date.) The discussion centered around the problem of smoking on campus. 11 people gathered to shed some of their ideas and opinions in the matter, including two Health Department Officials, Director of Campus Safety, Joseph O’Connor, and a mother of a Broome Community College student.

Four different “potential” recommendations were printed out and discussed about the smoking policy on BCC campus.

1) Change nothing about the current smoking policy- the current smoking policy entails that there are signs on every building saying that the smokers are prohibited within 25 feet of the building entrance while smoking. There is no indication of where this 25 feet mark is and no enforcement of the rule itself. Between the opinions of those in attendance to the lecture, the majority said that this option was irrelevant to the smokers because no one obeys the signs with no enforcement.

2) Demarcate and enforce the 25-foot no-smoking zones- this proposes that lines be painted on the sidewalks to indicated the 25-foot whereabouts and that when not standing behind those lines, citations can be given out by Campus Security. The majority thought this may help for a short while, but there are those who do not want to obey such rules. “The average students here at BCC are 17-20 years old. They are in the prime years to be rebels and probably will eventually not pay any attention to simple line just drawn on the sidewalk,” Said one BCC student and smoker.

3) Limit smoking to designated areas- This idea suggests that there be marked areas around campus that are just for smokers. While the handout suggested the parking lot as one place, people also named places like the gazebo, the back entrance of Titchener, the big grassy area in front of the Student Center and the area between the Business and Mechanical Buildings. “This is not going to stop people from smoking where they want to,” Said the mother of a BCC student whose daughter has a lung problem where only 40% of her lungs are workable. “No matter where these designated areas are located, there are cannot filter away the smoke. People still have to walk by the smokers and inhale. Options 1, 2, and 3 are not acceptable!”

4) Create a smoke-free (or tobacco-free) campus- This option suggests that the campus not allow any smoking on BCC property at all. “This would mean that, me as a smoker and all the other smokers who are on campus for long periods of time would have to walk to Starbucks, Regal Parking lot or Valero to have a cigarette,” said Tyrone Heppard, a BCC student and smoker. “That is just a little ridiculous I think.” However, the other place allowed would be the sidewalk right on front street which is considered public property. “That is still too far from any buildings that I have class in. That would only be accessible and reasonable for people taking classes in the Front Street building,” Heppard added.

The only options that offer citation usage are numbers 2 and 3, however most of the people present at the discussion seemed to think that citations would a good way to keep the boundaries set and enforced.