2004 Poetry #2

Untitled- 2004

I remember listening

To the voices

That filled the room.

I remember trying to recognize

Certain voice…

Hoping to hear yours.

I remember seeing

The faces

That appeared in the hall.

I remember studying them

(In hope)

You may be there.

I remember watching

Everyone leave

Until they were gone.

Scared you may not

Be left there to hear me say

I love you.

With Closed Eyes- 2004

I closed my eyes

As time passed right by.

I couldn’t believe

The seconds I missed.

The things I could have done,

The people I could have met.

The things I could have told

No one

But you.

Seconds turned to minutes

And through my hands you slip.

I keep returning to that time

When we first met.

We were so in love,

Within a second.

And now in one more

You have left.

So I close my eyes

As time passes right by.

Leaving me with nothing

Except a tear to cry.

I Spend My Time Waiting-2004

To: Ryan Biggs

I’ve seen you walking,

I’ve watched you pass.

I’ve smiled at you,

And got nothing in return.

Sometimes I pretend to know you,

When I am with my friends.

But deep down

I don’t have a clue who you are.

I am just sitting here watching

For you to go by.

Hoping you will finally

Throw me that “hello”

I have been searching for.

So-

I spend my time

Waiting…

Tomorrow-2004

Tomorrow-

24 hours.

1,440 minutes.

86,400 seconds.

Tomorrow-

When I will see you again.

Anticipation-

Of tomorrow.

Just of being in your presences.

So I will wait-

For tomorrow.

To That Place-2004

I went there today—

To that place in my heart.

Where I keep that memory…

Of you.

I saw the first time we kissed—

I remember that so well.

I made the first move.

I saw me look into your eyes—

Man, I miss that.

I ran through it all.

Every little thing we went through.

Then—

I saw the goodbye.

I remember that so well.

I remember every tear,

Every word,

And every thought.

I went there today—

To that place in my heart—

The one where I keep that…

Goodbye.

A Long and Awaited-2004

I have been drawn to you,

Like a little girl in white dress to dirt.

Totally unexpected to all,

Even myself.

I have awaited many times,

To be told “I love you” with meaning.

And now,

I have it from you.

Wearing It Right-2004

I wore a poncho,

Over my red tee.

My jeans were blue,

And a little bit dirty.

I looked okay,

But I could have looked better.

Then you were there,

And I looked perfect…

Wearing your love.

Same Wave Length-2004

I headed straight,

And turned your way.

No clue in my head

What I would say.

I was planning on kissing you.

And holding you tight.

I was going to let you know,

I wanted to stay with you all night.

I had it all planned,

But it did happen as I thought it would.

Because you did it all first,

And I never thought you would.

If I Am-2004

I failed to let you know,

You were on my mind.

It was when I was sleeping.

I remember it clearly,

I was 19,

You were 1 year younger.

I couldn’t stop kissing you.

And you couldn’t stop looking at me.

You kept telling me things,

I already thought weren’t true.

Although you made it clear they were.

If I am dreaming,

(And I don’t think I am,)

Please don’t wake me up,

Because I want to be with you forever.

L-O-V-E-2004

If “L is for the way

You look at me”-

Please don’t do it,

Any more.

(Remember- you left me-

And closed the door.)

If “O is for the only one

You see-“

Then take a better look

At the girl’s around.

(Remember- you left me-

For another girl you found.)

If “V is very very

Extraordinary-“

Try to pretend-

Every girl is the same.

(Remember- you left me-

To play that game.)

If “E is even more

Then you adore-“

Try not to flatter me-

It’s all been said.

(Remember- you left me-

You messed with my head.)

“Love is all that I can

Give to you.”

Yeah… don’t use that-

Don’t give me that line.

(Cause remember- you left me-

HERE”S YOUR SIGN!)

I Never Meant-2004

I never meant

To be your friend—

I never meant

To kiss you.

I never meant

To touch you—

That way.

I never meant

To fall in love—

Then again…

I never meant

To let you go.

Wasn’t Upset-2004

I wasn’t upset

When I saw you with her.

I was… happy

You moved on?

I wasn’t physically crying—

Emotionally…

Maybe.

I wasn’t upset

When I saw you with her.

I actually—

Was torn.

Hand-2004

Holding your hand—

I was in heaven.

I was actually

On cloud 9 (as they say).

I was so in love

With you—

And you were with me (I think).

All the way up—

Until the day…

Your hand

Just slipped away.

My White Blouse-2004

“Oh, angels above—

It’s been a dreary day.

Things are just so crazy—

Nothing has gone my way.

I spilled my coffee

On my white blouse.

I locked my keys

Inside my house.

I forgot to put gas

In my car.

I was late to work

Because I had to walk too far.

My boyfriend left me,

My cat just died.

A homeless man robbed me,

After I gave him a ride.”

Whew— I am glad to wake up

Out of this nightmare.

Because all of this

Just gave me a scare.

I am sitting down for coffee now,

I’m sure I’ll be fine.

NO! I just spilled it all over…

This new white blouse of mine.”

When I Turned the Key…-2004

I awaited this

For a long time.

Like a girl

Wanting her fairytale dream to come true.

I awaited

Just to fall in love with you.

I held my breath,

I clenched my fists.

I closed my eyes,

And softly said, “I was right.”

This was true,

And it’s something I couldn’t fight.

I wanted it back,

And that it.

I had to go through with it,

I had no choice.

I had to stand up to you,

I had to raise my voice.

Behind the door,

Was my fairytale dream.

The life that was perfect,

But only missing me.

And it all unveiled

When I turned the key…

Daddy’s Little Girl-2004

To: Dad… Curt Vincent

I held her hand tightly,

I couldn’t let her go.

Her fingers were so tiny,

As she attempted to not let go.

She looked at me with her big blue eyes,

And her little nose was red from the cold.

Her blonde hair blew in the wind,

As the snow gently landed on her face and quickly melted.

This was my daughter,

This was the love of my life.

This was the only girl,

Who stole my heart at first sight…

Then she was four,

I let go of her little hand,

And only took hold of it again,

Every summer for five weeks.

I didn’t get to see her much.

Only in pictures.
I watched her change,

Only in photographs that come in the mail.

This little,

Who eventually turned into a lady,

Faded away to where she saw me maybe every couple of years.

Then this lady,

Became a woman,

And now she is someone else’s girl.

And though,

I regret not being there for her when she needed this man,

I never will regret

Giving this beautiful girl

A life.

Although,

Deep down…

I know,

She will always be that little girl,

Holding my hand.

She will always be my daughter,

And I will always be her father

In Need of Rescue-2004

In need of rescue,

He fell through the hole.

His foot had slipped

And pulled him deep below.

He tried to save a man,

A child and mother too.

This one guy

Would help any of you.

He’d be by our side,

In sun or rain.

He is in this to save people,

Not for the fame.

In need of rescue

Someone help him please…

Can’t you give him a hand?

I am begging on my knees.

Just pull him out,

And hurry while you’re at it too.

Try to be careful,

We don’t want to lose you.

That’s it,

It’s too large it go in.

He says just forget it,

There is no saving him.

The fire has swallowed him,

It has gulped him in one mouthful.

Just trying to save lives,

We lost a faithful soul.

Loves Me… Loves Me Not-2004

Loves me…

Loves me not…

Daisies,

And roses…

I’ve been through them all.

Just sitting here,

To see if you really care.

Black-eyed Suzie’s,

I’ve done them too.

I am falling

Even more in love.

Loves me…

Loves me not…

The Cat in the Windowsill-2004

Little black cat,

The tail in the air.

Wind blowing outside,

Without a care.

Her fur is messed up,

Her ears are flapping around.

Her eyes are still,

Hypnotized by the ground.

The rose by the window,

Has fallen to the floor.

The life of the yellow petals,

Live no more.

The cat knocked down the vase,

The water has spilled down the wall.

The cat in the windowsill,

Only watch it fall.

Flying Higher Than Expected-2004

To: Benjamin (BJ) Rockwell

1980-2004

It was my choice to go to into the Air Force Mom,

That was my dream.

It was great being where I was,

It was just all that it would seem.

I wanted to make you proud mom,

I wanted you to make others see…

I want them to know,

How wonderful it is to be me.

I gave it my best shot,

I gave it all I had.

I never expected the unexpected,

To turn out so bad.

But now that it has,

There is nothing we can do.

Just remember,

Always… I do love you.

Tell Jon not to worry,

And please don’t either of you cry.

Because this is a “see you later,”

Not a “goodbye.”

She was Wise… I Should Have Listened- 2004

He has entered my life.

And I am still not quite sure

Where he came from.

He was the best thing that happened...

To me anyways.

She told me to

“Stir clear,

He’ll only break

Your heart.”

But I didn’t listen.

I didn’t want to.

Because he seemed harmless.

And he was harmless.

To me.

He became my love.

My life.

The first one I could trust…

With my heart.

But did he trust me with his?

Was I to him

All he was to me?

Not really.

Not in the end.

In the end…

He acted like we never

Even loved each other.

They Were Always Like Me- 2004

My eyes are awake,

But my bones are still asleep.

I can’t face reality,

I was dreaming too deep.

I dreamt you were here,

I dreamt you were by my side.

I dreamt everything was perfect,

I dreamt you never lied.

I didn’t want to know the truth.

I wanted to stay in love.

I prayed God would answer

My prayers from above.

But when my bones moved,

And I reached for you…

You were still gone,

There was evidently nothing I could do.

The space on my bed,

That you called your own,

Was now cold,

And alone.

What will the kids say

When they find out it is true?

That you really did leave

Because you were only thinking about you.

Will they understand?

Will they be okay?

Will they hold on

And make it through the day?

They already miss you,

That’s plain to see.

But then again,

They always were just like me.

It’s Always My Fault- 2004

So many times do I just sit here,

And think about the memories.

The memories of just me,

Then the ones that actually do include you.

I get so frustrated wondering what went wrong,

I can’t put my finger on it,

But I think it was my fault.

I think you got scared.

Not by the relationship,

But by my life in general.

It’s okay.

That’s how my relationships have been going.

It’s so predictable.

I start to date,

Things go well,

And then BOOM.

It’s over.

Just like that.

But don’t worry I don’t blame you.

I blame me…

Because…

It is my fault.

…No Matter What They Say-2004

You almost said, “I love you,”

I remember seeing it in your eyes.

You almost were truthful,

I could tell through your lies.

You almost had me thinking “forever,”

You tried so hard to make me believe.

You almost stayed with me,

I saw it when you turned to leave.

You almost wanted to be with me,

I heard it in the air.

You almost didn’t hit me,

I saw it when you stood there.

You almost had me believe,

My life was worth not living at all.

You almost had me take my own life,

But I was smart enough not to fall.

You almost killed me,

You almost had me throw my life away.

But hey… ALMOST always counts…

No matter what they say.

There Will Always Be…-2004

With the coming of the dawn,

With the fading of the day…

When the sun rises,

And the moon goes away.

When all that is left,

Are the colors of the sky…

When the world is crazy,

There will always be you and I.

When people don’t get it,

When they just don’t understand…

When you find your love,

And she lets go of your hand.

When the kids are mean,

When they make you cry…

When life is hard,

There will always be you and I.

When time stands still,

When the world doesn’t turn.

When everything is simple,

And there is nothing left for you learn.

When you don’t know your father,

And he never even said goodbye….

When your tears are falling,

There will always be you and I.

Sorry- 2004

If I in anyway have made you feel hurt,

Please tell me.

If I in anyway have made you fall in love with me,

Please let me see.

If I anyway gave you the impression I was interested,

Excuse the way I act…

I have a tendency to do that,

That is a flat out fact.

Please forgive me,

I am sorry I put you through this all.

Next time just be careful,

And try not to fall.

I Wasn’t Going to Leave- 2004

I wasn’t going to leave.

I wasn’t planning on staying either.

I was only supposed to walk you home.

But then I ended up kissing you,

And hugging you,

And never letting go.

I didn’t want to for that matter.

I was already falling.

I was already too involved.

But you didn’t help any when you said I love you.

I wasn’t going to leave.

I was already a part of your life.

I Remembered What Was Important- 2004

I forgot to watch the sunrise,

I forgot to watch it set.

I forgot to forget you,

Only because I couldn’t yet.

I forgot to turn and leave,

I forgot to say goodbye.

I forgot to forget,

All the times you made me cry.

I forgot to hold my breath,

I forgot to close my eyes.

I forgot to say I love you,

Only because of all your lies.

I forgot to mention your name,

I forgot to picture you at all.

I forgot to hate you,

But I did remember not to fall.

In the Other Half of the Brain- 2004

…nevertheless the glimpse

Of spiritual understanding

Is harshly corrupted

By being spoken as a desire.

Somehow- 2004

I was dismantled,

Amazed at what was and what could have been.

The sound of your voice rang in my ears,

As the touch of your hands invaded my body.

Somehow, you were here-

I was crying when I saw you,

I was battered and bruised.

Your breath rushed onto my cheek,

And evaporated into the air.

Somehow, you found me-

I was bitter with you.

You had stolen my life,

My innocence,

My everything.

Somehow, you took me over-

I had to get away.

I had to repair myself.

I had to regain my strength.

I had to make you go away.

Somehow, you left-

I was better.

I wasn’t being used.

I was the girl I used to be.

I was myself once again.

Somehow, you set me free-

P*P*W- 2004

Poetry girl,

Poetry girl-

Oh where do you roam?

Here’s your pen,

Here’s your paper-

Don’t you know this is your home?

Here with your words,

Here with your works-

Emotions flow into life of poetry.

Keep it up,

You’ll do great-

Your place is here with me.

-love-

Pen,

Paper and words.

(P*P*W)

Hour- 2004

For its 5 to the hour-

It is almost 3.

Why am I still up in the A.M.?

Because I can’t get over you…

Just leaving me.

I went for a drive-

It’s now almost 4.

Headlights and taillights

Are blinding my view…

Now I am not thinking of you anymore.

Cruising around town-

The hour is now 5.

I just saw a man,

Cold, lonely…

He didn’t look too alive.

I pulled over-

I sat there for 10.

I rolled down my window

And he is pretending not to see me.

Who was this man?

Wait and wait,

For another 2.

Slam the car door,

Run to his side…

I couldn’t believe it was you.

Talk and talk,

As many minutes have passed.

You grabbed my hand,

And stole my heart,

And said “I love you” at last.

All But Coincidence- 2004

Time has become my enemy,

You have become my live.

Life has given me nothing,

And God sent you from above.

Angels have taken guard,

Satan tugs at my shirt.

You are holding my hand,

And promised me no more hurt.

The sky has moved its clouds,

The sun is now beginning to shine.

I will take your heart,

As long as you promise not break mine.

“Chocolate”- 2004

One would say,

“Life is like a box of chocolates…”

Another would agree.

But when you say “chocolate,”

I am allergic…

Hey, that is just me…

Down the Street- 2004

The mild sun rays,

The beauty of the clouds.

The mist of the freshly fallen rain,

The lingering of a certain scent.

Kids playing jump rope,

A dog basking in the warmth.

Cars racing to their destination,

People looking for one.

I have yet to go to that place,

I have yet to find a dream.

I am still moving forward,

As I walk down the street.

PLEASE? - 2004

Please,

Hold my hand.

Don’t let the monsters get me.

Please,

Tuck me in.

Don’t let the demons in.

Please,

Let me cry on you.

Don’t let the tears fall.

Please,

Be my friend.

Help me over come my fears.

Please?

The Right Ticket Price- 2004

I bought a one-way ticket,

I’m coming to see you.

I fell in love in college,

And thinking about you is all I do.

Remember our kiss?

The one that melted your heart?

Remember the song?

Where we got out start?

I bought this ticket,

Hoping the price is right.

The price that I find you my love,

And I can carry you away into the night.

Unusual Acquaintance- 2004

I cried upon my daisy petal,

For my love has let me be.

I flew to just flap my wings,

And landed on a girl under a tree.

The girl was crying,

I didn’t know what to do.

That is when I realized…

She was crying over you.

“Stupid little bug,”

She yelled at a pitch to me deaf.

So I flapped my wings again,

Got right up and left.

I saw your house,

A mile away.

When I got there

I wasn’t sure what to say.

The queen didn’t let me in,

My red body put me to shame.

She said I wasn’t one like her,

And my black dots,

Looked pretty lame.

But we had to talk,

No matter what the time or price.

I pushed my way in,

I have to admit I wasn’t nice.

Everyone stopped working,

The honey dripped like wine.

It’s the only time in any generation,

A lady bug would ask a boney bee…

PLEASE BE MINE?!?!

When I Am Walking, Nothing Can Hurt Me Anymore- 2004

When I am walking,

I hear you.

I hear you in mind,

And I know that you love me.

For if you didn’t,

Then I wouldn’t be hearing you.

You wouldn’t linger on in my heart.

When I am walking,

I see you.

I catch a glimpse of your eye.

A tear rolls out,

A reminder of you and me.

That was it,

When you said goodbye.

When I am walking,

Time passes on.

Goodbye was yesterday,

Last week,

Last month,

And now.

It was a year ago today.

When I am walking,

There is no more you.

No more holding hands,

No gentle kissing.

No dancing in the rain,

No hugs,

No “I love you’s…”

Nothing to hurt me anymore.

Christmakkah- 2004

The time of year has come my friends,

For Christmakkah 2004.

The OC

“Merry Christmas,”

And “Happy Hanukkah” too.

They have come together to make,

Happy Christians and Jews.

So Mappy Christmakkah,

Or Herry Christmakkah… whatever you desire is.

Just say it with pride and joy,

To make it what it is.

Just wear you Yammaclaus,

For 2004.

The OC celebrates it,

And I do so let’s drink one more.

He Made Me- 2004

He has molded me,

The way I stand in front of you.

He took the paper,

And dapped the glue.

He made my fingers,

My toes and ears.

He made my passions,

Me desires and fears.

He planned out my life,

And gave me a will.

He said he loved me,

And wondered if I did still.

He told me the right path,

He showed me the way.

He said bring them to me,

Help them today.

He made me understand,

He made me really see.

The He is the God,

And I am the missionary.

Sandcastles- 2004

A father and daughter day,

Down to the beach they go…

Life is becoming short,

But only daddy knows.

His daughter yells,

“Daddy, Daddy, come build with me.

A beautiful big sandcastle,

Right here by the sea.”

He thinks to himself,

“She is only 6 today…

And only her mother and I know,

Her life is wasting away.”

They filled the buckets,

And molded the sand.

They sat there,

With it all over their hands.

The castle was complete,

Yet she wasn’t pleased.

She pondered quietly

As she sat on her knees.

She put the bucket upside down,

And set it on her Daddy’s head.

“The kind has arrived!”

That’s what she said.

“The who?”

The daddy asked.

“The king…”

She replied fast.

“And who…

Just who may that be?”

“Daddy… you’re the king silly,

And the princess is me.”

Going back to that day,

The dad wipes away his tears.

He can’t believe it’s been so long,

And she has all ready been gone 10 years.

He told her the sandcastles story,

Today at her grave.

As he set a framed picture there…

That he saved.

Here you go my princess,

Sleep well and I’ll see you soon.

He hung his head,

And then went home by the light of the moon.

How I Know- 2004

When I close my eyes,

I see you.

Not completely,

But I know you’re there.

I catch maybe-

A glimpse of your smile,

Or a twinkle of your eye-

Or even a wave of your hand.

But lately

I knew you were there

With me-

Just because I could feel…

Your presence.

Kissed- 2004

I’ve kissed you many times-

Not only in reality…

But in my dreams as well.

And if only I could keep doing it,

Forever…

I’d be more than happy.

My lips long-

Just to be touched by yours…

Not necessarily to be kissed-

As long as they are together.

Your kiss is like a drug-

One I cannot live without.

As long as you keep kissing me-

I’ll be happy-

Whether it’s reality…

Or just a sweet dream.