shhh-2005
shhh…
If you listen you can hear
The quiet words
So sincere.
shhh…
Two people just kissed.
Someone else
Is being missed.
shhh…
Two people are falling in love
And someone else
Was just touched by angels
From above.
When you are quite
The smallest things can tickle your ear.
But you need to listen carefully
And it will become clear.
Cry-2005
I cried alone in bed last night.
Plotted out my life in black and white.
I dreamt you held me while I sat in my sorrow.
I dreamt you held me like there was no tomorrow.
Then it all left and I heard your goodbye.
That’s when I broke down and began to cry.
Out of Control Generations-2005
In a world of suffering
Our compassion isn’t enough.
Our earth is filled with too much
Sex, swearing and other stuff.
Our children are learning of
Homosexuality.
And what is with
All the shows on TV?
11 year old girls are pregnant,
And Johnny has a gun,
Mary has a girlfriend,
And Billy does drugs for fun.
Cassie is 14-
And pays Charles for beer.
Karl is abusive-
And his mother lives in fear.
In this crazy world,
The generations get worse.
You can see it for yourself
In each year and in every verse.
Would I Care?-2005
I wasn’t going to speak…
I didn’t want you to hear me yell.
You didn’t love me
No matter how hard you tried to sell it.
You kept me hanging
You made me believe it.
You turned your back
And I couldn’t receive it.
You called me day after day
Pretending to care inside.
But I couldn’t answer
I had to hide.
I couldn’t let you get me
I couldn’t bring myself to you.
I couldn’t give you my heart again
But I couldn’t stop loving you.
So I guess goodbye won’t be said
And still we know it is there.
Everything is over…
And no one asked if I would care.
Thinking of You-2005
I just rolled
Out of the sack
I turn around
Wanting to go back
I remember the night
How I slept awake
Closing my eyes
Was a step I couldn’t take
I buried my head into my pillow
Where your head had laid
To my surprise
Your scent didn’t fade
It’s like you were here
Holding me tight
Like you didn’t leave
And you stayed for the night
But alas
You were a memory
For now
Just a dream to me
You were at school
100 some miles away
Back in our home town
Is where I stay
Hoping for an email
Call or something more
And waiting for the time
I see you at my door
Until I do my love
I will remember the times we had
I will wait patiently
And try not to be sad
So my dear
I love you
This ought to be clear
That I miss you too
#1 Downstairs: The Beginning- 2005
He lived downstairs.
My neighbor.
The one I watched go to his car.
The one I listened to get his mail.
He was cute
In the sun… and even at night.
He had this macho ness to him.
I couldn’t pin-point it.
There no words… (I personally had none.)
Except “hi.”
Between us-
Him and I.
Until he said
One day-
Out of the blue-
“Want to get some coffee?”
#2 Downstairs: Coffee- 2005
‘Coffee.’
Did I want ‘coffee’?
I knew what ‘coffee’ meant-
‘Talking.’
What would I say?
Should I be myself?
Me- crazy, wild, poetic-
Occasionally cute- me!
Finally-
We set a date-
A ‘coffee’ date of January 2, 2005.
I was ready.
#3 Downstairs: La Tazza- 2005
“La Tazza good?”
La Tazza? It took some time to process.
I couldn’t grasp I was in the car-
With him.
Patrick.
The one I called:
“The Downstairian”
For the longest time.
“Yes, fine.”
2 words?
How pathetic.
But who cared?
Somehow we were lost in conversation…
And I was talking-
TO PATRICK!
Wow, in my mind, I was speechless.
He had the flavor of the week,
Me- mocha latte.
I was a sucker for chocolate,
Him for coffee at all.
We talked on end,
For a while in reality.
But in my mind
It seemed to go by quickly.
We were soon at my door-
Saying goodbye.
I hugged him-
And he smelled divine.
#4 Downstairs: Official- 2005
Someone I thought-
I would never have a chance with.
This guy-
With beautiful chocolate eyes.
Many times,
We have crossed paths.
Many times we watched movies,
Holding each other.
It was beautiful.
I had this radiance to me
When we were together-
An eternal glow.
I remember being in his car-
The Altima.
I was comfortable.
(Probably because he was there.)
Then he looked at me and said,
“I want to be more.”
(Speechless, like usual) “Yes, me too!”
Was all I could say.
It was January 11, 2005
At night-
Around 8…
When we became OFFICIAL.
#5 Downstairs: Temporary Goodbye- 2005
Away, away-
100 miles away.
To Albany-
From Binghamton, New York.
We held each other,
For hours.
Goodbye-
Just came too soon.
We weren’t ready
For our time together to be over.
We had just begun
To have fun.
But “goodbye”
Came-
And the tire tracks
Were the only things left.
The Sky’s Ocean- 2005
Every time it rains,
I think they are little droplets of the ocean,
Coming back to earth…
Just to evaporate again.
I Wait for Mine-2005
A little girl
About 4 or so-
Beautiful…
Little blue eyes,
Blade curly hair
That brushes her rosy cheeks.
A little pink dress,
A small brown sandals
That she scuffed as she walked.
For one moment
She glanced at me-
Noticing I was smiling at her.
Her tiny lips
Reached her ears
As she gave me a tiny wave…
Before boarding her plane.
Me-
I still wait for mine.
How full is your tank?-2005
i filled up on gas,
and rolled down the road.
i wanted to live life,
straight to the fold.
a stranger waved me down,
and asked for some assistance.
but i drove by
cause the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.
i was pulled over by a cop,
who said i was going too fast.
he said he would give me a warning for now,
but i assured him that wouldn’t last.
i drove on and on
through rain, snow and sun.
i was held up in a parking lot,
by a man with a gun.
i drove my car into the river
and just before it sank,
a man asked me this question:
“how full is your tank?”
No Mercy-2005
I pulled away from him-
Yet his hands followed.
They latched to my hips-
Like hungry leaches.
Why was he doing this?
Wasn’t I controlled enough?
Does he know it is over?
Can’t he realize he lost?
Our eyes fought-
His trying to catch mine
And mine trying to run away.
That went on for minutes.
Band-aids were easier.
One quick pull and you’re done.
But this…
This pulled every hair on me- slowly.
His hands became tense-
His gripe tightened.
I backed up.
My foot hit the wall.
I knew that was it.
I was done for.
He was out for me like a shark to blood.
He attacked.
Grabbing my face
Pulling my arm-
Wringing my neck
Not leaving a mark.
Then he moved.
Tears poured out of my eyes
And with no mercy,
He laughed.
SMACK!
One to the face-
Wiped those drops away,
Fast.
Swift and hard,
His hand was made of bricks.
My jaw popped
And that was it.
And he was gone.
Gone like the stars
In a morning sky,
He just left.
Cry-2005
I cried alone
In bed last night.
Plotted out my life
In black and white.
I dreamed you held me
While I sat in my sorrow.
I dreamed you held me
Like there was no tomorrow.
Then it all left,
Vanished without a trace.
I heard your goodbye
While a smile kissed your face.
That’s when I broke down
And thought I would die.
That is when I was made a fool of
And I began to cry.
Apathy-2005
Maybe he never knew me
He never really took the time
To
Sit
And
Listen…
Or even hold my hand.
Maybe he didn’t want to
He really despised me.
Deep
Inside
I could tell.
What should I have done?
Forced him to love me?
Forced him to care?
I couldn’t do that.
I couldn’t…
Even if I tried.
Mug #4-2005
I sip my coffee
From mug #4.
Wondering
Have you sipped from this cup before?
I washed my dishes
I cleaned them twice.
I got them all shinning
And sparkling very nice.
I didn’t clean that mug
Mug #4.
But I did pick up the pieces
After it hit the floor.
Recognition-2005
To my recognition,
It was up for grabs.
And I,
I was on the prowl.
I was hunting him down,
Like predator to prey.
I could smell his scent,
A hop, skip and jump away.
A mix of cologne
Aftershave and coffee.
It was desirable,
And I wanted it.
It was unbelieveable,
I got it
And now,
I will not let it go.
Colored Rose-2005
You gave me a rose,
You said, “Keep it until it dies.”
But now,
It seems it cries.
Dropping a petal
At the drop of a dime.
It withered away,
In its own time.
My poor red rose
Holds the color brown.
Maybe it is because
It secretly saw me frown.
Channels-2005
I
Trip,
I
Fall.
But only in my mind.
I
Stutter,
I
Stumble.
On words I cannot find.
I
Win,
I
Lose.
There are dreams coming true.
I’m
Enchanting,
I’m
Magical.
Because I am loved by you.
One Last Fight-2005
Deep inside-
A raging fire burns…
Throwing her side to side-
Everywhere she turns.
Her arms fling back-
Her body falls.
She screeches and yells-
But no one hears her calls.
The mightiness of this object-
Has overpowered her again.
She’s never hurt this bad-
And if she were, she doesn’t know when.
His fist raises
Her heart pauses in beat.
He is winning the battle
He is someone she cannot defeat.
He strikes-
With a powerful blow.
Her head hits a wall
And has nowhere else to go.
The demons in him
They begin to laugh aloud at the sight.
Day has deceived her
And so has the night.
This was the last straw
As she headed for the door.
She smiles at him and says,
“You may win all the battles, but I have won the war.”
Blue Blanket-2005
It was a blue blanket.
It lay smoothly on his bed.
It was soft
And warm.
We lay under it-
Snug.
He held me-
I held him-
It was romantic.
Time passed-
And we stood up.
It was a blue blanket.
It was crumpled upon his bed.
That’s where we left it-
When we said goodbye.
My #-2005
He never called me-
He never said he would anyway.
I was surprised.
I thought he wanted my #.
He did ask for it-
In his own way.
Kind of “beat around the bush”
In the process.
He was sweet-
Playing with my hair,
Holding my hand-
And then kissing my cheek when he said goodbye.
But it was just a show-
He never really was interested….
In me anyway.
2-2005
2 days.
That is all we had.
2 days,
2 nights-
Give or take a couple hours.
That is all we had.
But that was plenty of time
To be with each other.
Not to me.
I wanted to stay with him.
Not just for
2 days,
2 nights-
But for always.
There was a point
When I didn’t want to leave.
But I knew
My time was up in…
2 days,
2 nights-
Forgotten-2005
It’s been so long.
So long that maybe-
Maybe you just forgot me.
HA! That’s just pathetic…
And truly unrealistic.
Of course you didn’t “FOR GET” me.
That’s just plainly absurd thinking.
However… if you have forgotten-
ME…
And I just so happen,
To still maybe…
On some level,
Run through your mind…
Then-
Hmmm.
Why haven’t you called?
Starry Night Filled with Morning Dew-2005
Oh starry night,
Upon us so blue.
Preparing a morning,
Kissed with moistening dew.
A gentle breeze,
A light rain.
A glorious morn,
As the birds sang.
A fire that burns,
Water so still.
A lonely sight,
Beyond the hill.
Beautiful scenes,
Of grass and air.
A story of love,
That never ends fair.
Oh starry night,
Oh glorious day.
Bring me a life of love,
That shall never melt away.
Don’t-2005
Don’t shy away,
Don’t fade your style.
Don’t save your goatee,
Don’t lose your smile.
A way to bring
Your past into now-
Don’t recall back then,
I’ll show you how.
Don’t change your laugh,
Don’t change your personality.
Just be yourself-
Even for me.
Don’t let someone tell you,
A different line.
Listen to all this-
And things will be just fine.
Where He Laid-2005
I love how his head
Lay perfectly in the crevasse
Between my breast.
It felt so right.
Time stood still-
For me.
I wanted him to stay there.
He couldn’t move anyway.
He was too new.
Too small.
Too helpless-
I felt he needed me.
And I,
I needed him.
He was the love of my life.
The only guy I fell in love with
At first sight.
Technically I knew him for 9 months
He was my son.
Our First Summer-2005
A kiss of love,
That we had under the stars.
The noises of whipping wind,
And slowly passing cars.
Drinking red wine,
By a burning fire of our souls.
No need to re-spark the flame,
No need for logs or coals.
A summer of love with you,
A summer of love with me…
Our first summer
As in love as can be.
Shadowing-2005
Shadowing myself
A wandering depth
Answering momentarily
I stand inward
From the moonlight
Beneath the edge.
White Petals-2005
I followed the path of white petals
To the place that I used to call home.
I followed them down the road,
Paved with nothing but broken stone.
I came to a house
Where the picket fence still lays.
The darkness covers the damage,
And the light it never conveys.
I picked up those petals
And flung them upon the yard of dirt.
I let the memory go,
But I can still feel the hurt.
The day that my parents
They didn’t say goodbye.
The day that tore us apart,
The day that they were left to die.
37 Cents-2005
The 37 cents I spent today
Just to send you this note,
Came from what I found on the street
On in the cushion on the chair.
I had to get it there,
To let you know that I love you.
I love you so much
That I can barely contain myself
From shouting it to the world.
37 cents that got me the stamp
That supports breast cancer.
The three dimes and a nickel,
With two pennies on the side.
Just some chump-change
To tell you I love you.
Do They with You?-2005
Love
me?
You say so.
Like
me?
Don’t really know.
Know
me?
The question remains.
Stalk
me?
Your heart refrains.
All the questions
Run through my mind too.
But the real question is
Do
they
with
you?
With the Night-2005
Down the hall
A look of gloom.
A slandering moment,
As I gazed into the room.
A stabbing cold,
Of air beneath the board.
A spark of electric.
From a tainted cord.
A smack in the face,
From a hand of white.
A ghostly figure
That appears with the night.
A desperate voice
Of death in the dew.
The calling of Satan,
Trying to intimidate you.
The pulling of the angels,
Saying come away.
The time I changed my life,
And chose God’s way.
The Feeling of Your Love-2005
Across the miles,
Across the way.
Many times,
We don’t know what to say.
With every tick,
With every chime.
My heart beats,
In rhythm with time.
My heart says go,
My mind says wait.
My body is torn between,
And wants to leave it to fate.
With the passing of the breeze,
With the blowing of the wind,
I feel the love from you,
So deep within.
The beauty of the love,
The magic of it too.
The wonder,
And amazement that arrives here from you.
Enchanting feelings,
Adoration shall appear.
My arms are lonely,
And pull for you to be near.
I make my wish,
And the stars await.
The moon shines in,
And I anticipate…
For a knock to my door,
Or a ring to my phone.
Saying you are on your way…
You are coming home.
Moons Lashes-2005
I swing in my hammock,
The clouds have parted.
The raindrops are falling,
The storm has started.
The night has a glow,
The stars shine down.
The reflection of the moon,
Is in the puddles on the ground.
A girl hangs from the moon,
And swings her feet to and fro.
Is she crying?
No one will know.
The tears we call rain,
Soak me complete.
I feel the warmth
Of the summer nights heat.
The moon and the sun,
Their shadow clashes.
I fall asleep in the hammock
Starring at the moons lashes.
Lashes to Cheek-2005
One turn of the cheek,
A couple blinks of the eye.
A sweet and tender way,
To say our goodbye.
A peck on the lips,
A brush of the nose…
Only one thing so delicate,
Only the lashes know.
A way to say I love you,
In a way I will miss.
A cheek and a lash interaction,
For a butterfly kiss.
BULLSHIT-2005
BULLSHIT!
SHE FLUNG HER HEAD BACK.
THE WAVE OF HER HAIR TANGLED ACROSS HER FACE.
HER ARMS RAN THROUGH THE AIR WITH AN INSANE MOTIVE.
I SWORE SHE WAS GOING TO SLAP ME.
BULLSHIT!
SHE WIPED HER TEARS
AND THEN GRABBED ME.
“I SAID, BULLSHIT!”
SHE RUBBED IT IN LIKE I DIDN’T HEAR IT THE FIRST TWO TIMES.
AND SHE WAS RIGHT.
I DIDN’T.
I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND WHY SHE SAT WATCHING THE HOUR GLASS.
I DIDN’T KNOW WHY SHE WAS CRYING.
I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH HER.
SHE WAS LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME…
SHE CRIED TOO MUCH.
SHE WAS NEVER MAD THOUGH…
UNTIL SHE CAUGHT ME.
BULLSHIT!
BULLSHIT!
BULLSHIT!
WHY WAS THIS SUCH A BIG DEAL???
ALL I DID WAS CHEAT.
Goodbye Time-2005
There was a time
I thought I’d be alright.
There was a chance
I could have put up a fight.
In a moment
You were no longer mine
In a second
It was goodbye time.
Eclipse-2005
Like the eclipse of the sun,
That is what happens to my heart,
Every time-
You say goodbye.
760 Miles Roundtrip-2005
Taillights in the distance
Your face in my mirror.
You keep coming back
But why do you linger?
I drove 80 miles
300 more to go.
You’re laying in my backseat
Is there something I should know?
I’m hanging by a moment
We told each other goodbye.
I left you 80 miles ago
So why do I cry?
There is something shining in the seat
There is something more I see.
Why did you leave a ring
And a note saying “MARRY ME!”?
Faulk the Beauty Critics-2005
In the sense of beauty-
One this is for sure…
Superficial has taken over-
And natural remains no more.
Makeup and surgery-
Cosmetics and under the knife.
These powers live strong
And are big parts of life.
Pamela Anderson
And even Michael Jackson too
Who cares about the natural?
Who needs the real you?
Add the implants
Stretch the skin-
Botox counts
And deadly thin is in.
What you don’t know is
It doesn’t matter what is on the outside.
Cause the real beauty
Is inside.
Sheets in the Dark-2005
The darkness has covered us-
The sheets are our shield.
Love has become our power-
To intimacy, we will not yield.
Our eyes have caught view-
Our skin is now one.
The love we share-
Doesn’t end after the fun.
Sheets are wrinkled-
The darkness has been delayed.
The morning is now here-
The token has been paid.
The secrets of the night-
The sheets and the dark will forever know.
And they aren’t saying a word-
Our secret won’t be let go.
A Too Late Response-2005
I’d tell you I love you,
But I am scared of the reply.
I don’t know what to do or say,
I don’t know why I cry.
I told you once,
You ignore me all the way.
I told you twice,
And once again another day…
And now you say,
“I love you.”
But, what the hell?
I don’t think I love you too.
Red Roses-2005
He brought me roses.
He set them at my door.
With a note attached,
Saying I love you more.
The rain was pouring down,
My feet became soaked.
My desire was building,
To which he provoked.
But he was nowhere to be found,
He was missing his place.
I couldn’t remember when I saw him last,
I couldn’t picture his face.
He left for the war,
He never did return.
He held my heart tight,
He made my body yearn.
He made me realize,
He is never coming back to me.
I had butterflies,
In which they started to flee.
He brought me roses.
They soon turned old.
Within the same day,
My life turned cold.
The Flowers of Love-2005
They say a daisy
Will never speak.
Will not mumble the words,
Will not let it leak.
They say a rose
Will never sin.
Will never hold it in,
Will show up again.
They say that love
Will never die.
Will never lie about the truth,
And will never make you cry.
Yet my daisies, roses and love,
Have all let me down.
But they only did that when you came around.
13, 31, 21-2005
He moved to Chicago,
When we were 13.
He promised to come back-
And get me.
He wrote me everyday-
And signed them with XOXO.
Promising to get me-
Hoping I know.
I turned 31 today-
Still waiting on him to return.
But my love isn’t coming home-
That I began to learn.
He died when he was 21-
He was on his way here.
So, he didn’t forget me-
He’s not the insincere.
He’s buried under that oak tree,
With “I’ll be loving you…” on his stone.
He loves me,
And I’m so glad I’ve known.
The Beach Affair-2005
Encounters of an affair,
Lay perfect hand in hand.
Only the sea can tell,
Remembering is done by the sand.
Stained Glass Heart-2005
You tried to escape.
I heard you.
But it won’t break.
It may not be made of gold,
Silver or brass…
But it’s… stained glass.
You want to get out,
But I don’t know why.
You will have to try harder,
It may not be made of gold,
Silver or brass…
But it’s… stained glass.
Please don’t leave me,
You don’t understand.
It’ll hurt too much.
It may not be made of gold, silver or brass,
But it cannot be broken apart.
At least not this stained glass heart.
Amidst the Heart-2005
These feelings inside-
They tremble like the cold.
These feelings inside-
Are beautiful to hold.
Feelings of love-
To break the world’s mold.
Feelings of love-
From my hearts centerfold.
I give to you-
All that I may.
I give to you-
From dawn to dusk every day.
Everything I have-
Will never go away.
Everything I have-
A lot more that I can say.
Take it or leave it-
Your mind cannot tell.
Take it or leave it-
My love doesn’t sell.
I love you-
More or less, I must yell.
I love you-
Isn’t THAT the reason you REALLY fell?
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