Having a Baby and Raising that Baby for a Year: High School Student vs. College Student

April 24, 2008

These days, there is no telling what secrets are being hidden from parents. Parenting is hard and I do not think we give our parents enough credit for raising us and molding us into the fine young people we are today. However, the fact is many young people want children before they can even have a job. The Maury Show features many young girls who want kids at ages 12, 13, 14, 15 and up. But what happens when a student who is in high school has a child? Can they afford it? What about a college student? Many girls look at the perks and not the flaws. The flaw is the money that is paid to support a child; the money that many do not have. “76% of expectant parents say they feel financially prepared for having a baby – but 41% of new parents admit that, in hindsight, they were not as financially prepared as they thought.” (Pamela Paul, Redbook.)

Depending on what insurance a person has, costs of doctor’s visits, prenatal care, lab work, hospital care during pregnancy and delivery, and health care for your baby for at least one year after birth can be stressful on anyone. For a high school or college student who has no insurance can apply for Medicaid or The Prenatal Care Assistance Program (PCAP) in order to save money. “Women and teens who live in New York State who are pregnant and meet certain income guidelines can receive complete medical care during pregnancy, delivery and for at least two months after delivery.” (New York State Department of Health.)

The price of having your baby in a hospital can fluctuate depending on the services needed. The costs to have a baby just paying for prenatal care, delivery, and post-delivery care are broken down like so: Prenatal Vitamins- $50-180 for about 8 months, maternity clothes (bras, pants, shirts, bigger shoes possibly) - $200-$1000, OB/GYN checkup appointments. (Prenatal) - $400 (co-pay with insurance) -$2000 (no insurance), Ultrasound - $300 for the scan then up to $100 for interpretation, Demerol - $50, Epidural - $100, Extra hospital days - $200-$400/day, Total For Hospital Bills (labor and immediately after) $6,000 to $8,000 for a normal vaginal delivery and $10,000 to $12,000 for cesarean (no complications or extra days in hospital). (Our Lady of Lourdes Hospital)

Granted, there are certain ways to get around paying for everything top dollar, and possibly save some money in the pocket of bank by doing some really simple things.

1. Breastfeed: You can save roughly $1,000 in formula costs alone in your baby's first year by breastfeeding.

2. Thrift Stores: High quality clothing and baby equipment generally doesn't wear out from just one child's use. Shop at thrift and consignment shops and online auctions. Some of the very best deals can be found at regional consignment sales. You can find not only clothing, toys and equipment there, but also look for cloth diapers. The modern cloth diapers are nothing like Grandma's. The nicer ones are made from high tech materials that wick moisture away from baby, and utilize snaps or Velcro to close instead of pins. They save you a lot of money especially if you save them and use them again for subsequent children.

3. Think about what you REALLY need to raise your baby. A lot of the expensive items sold in baby stores are completely unnecessary and some are even harmful. Most of the people raising children on the planet today do so without cribs, walkers (which Pediatricians recommend against anyway!), playpens, changing tables, swings, "educational" toys, etc.

As the price of minimum wage increases, so does the price of everyday things we want or need. A gallon of milk now can cost almost four dollars and that is more than half of minimum wage.

If a high school student and a college student both worked at McDonald’s on the same minimum wage in 2008 and maxed out the hours they could work by working every solitarily second made available, neither would still be able to afford the required amount of money that is needed to raise a baby for the first year.

Many kids now days want babies. They always want to have a baby just to have it. They never figure in the costs or emotional turmoil that comes with a precious bundle of joy.

There are many ways to receive coupons or help with buying what you need for your new little angel. Don’t let the high costs stop you from having a baby, but make sure you can afford some things. Granted, babies can be raised on any kind of budget. What babies need more than monetary objects are love, attention, and affection, which are all free. You don’t need a trust fund in place in order for you to afford to have a child, if you are emotionally ready to raise baby, then money shouldn’t stop you.

However, children need stability. They need to be raised under a roof that will continue to be there and not be taken away because there isn’t enough money to pay for it. The parents need to be parents and not kids. Babies, kids, children… whatever you call them, they all have needs that cost money.

Work Cited

Life in the Fast Lane. http://www.teenageparent.org/english/costofbaby2B.html

6 April 2008

New York State Department of Health. 6 April 2008

http://www.health.state.ny.us/nysdoh/pcap/index.htm

Paul, Pamela. “How much does it Really Cost to have a Baby?” Redbook 6 April 2008

http://www.redbookmag.com/home/money-baby-cost

Personal Interview: Financial Offices of Our Lady of Lourdes Hospital

How much money does it cost to have a baby and raise it for year?

The following results are based upon how much a student makes while attending school full time. The amount earned per year is without taxes taken out. This is assuming that both the high school student and the college student have no other expenses except for the baby.

Keep in mind a high school student by law is only allowed to work 20 hours a week and be part-time. This is assuming that the high school student takes full advantage of 20 hours a week.	The college students schedule was set assuming they are a full time student taking 14 credit hours for a semester at BCC. This is also assuming that the student works 4 hours every Monday-Friday night and 8 hours every Saturday and Sunday.
How much does a high school student make if working at McDonald’s on minimum wage in 2008 for year?	How much does a college student make if working at McDonald’s on minimum wage in 2008 for year?
Minimum wage: $7.15 per hour	Minimum wage: $7.15 per hour
How much time at school: 8am-3pm/day (7hrs)	How much time at school: 29.5 hours/week
How much time at work: pt. 20 hours/week	How much time at work: 4hours*5days= 20hours 8hours*2days= 16 hours 20+16= 36 hours/week
Total hours per month at work: 20hours*4weeks= 80 hours/month	Total hours per month at work: 36hours*4weeks= 144 hours/month
Hours per year at work: 80hours*12months= 960 hours/year	Hours per year at work: 144hours*12months= 1,728 hours/year
Total amount of money earned per month: 80hours/month*$7.15= $572/month	Total amount of money earned per month: 144hours*$7.15= $1,029.60/month
Total amount of money earned per year: 960hours*$7.15= $6,864/year	Total amount of money earned per year: 1,728hours*$7.15= $12,355.20/year

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Top of Form

BABY BUDGET
How much does the first year cost?

Take this quiz and find out how much it costs to raise a baby for a year! Enter how many of each item you think you will need. Total it up. Are there other items you can think of that you will need in the baby's first year? Doctor visits, toys, etc.? Add this to your total.

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BEFORE BABY ARRIVES

1. You will need monthly check-ups with the doctor for pre-natal care. ($1,500.00) Enter 1 here for paying the doctor!

2. You will need to buy months worth of prenatal vitamins! ($15.00 for 1 months supply)

3. Don't forget about the hospital! Enter 1 here for paying the hospital! ($5,000.00)

4. You will need to buy an infant carseat to take the baby home from the hospital. (You can't leave without one!) ($45.00) Enter 1 here for buying a car seat!

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NURSERY ITEMS

5. You will need crib(s). ($100.00 each)

6. You will need crib mattress(es). ($45.00 each)

7. You will need crib sheets. ($10.00 each)

8. You will need crib blankets. ($10.00 each)

9. You will need crib mattress pad(s). ($7.76 each)

10. You will need receiving blanket(s). ($2.98 each)

11. You will need crib mobile(s). ($14.95 each)

12. You will need crib activity center(s). ($12.57 each)

13. You will need changing table(s). ($89.00 each)

14. You will need changing table pad(s). ($8.00 each)

15. You will need cradle(s) or bassinette(s). ($80.00 each)

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HEALTH /SAFETY ITEMS
(Remember, you are buying for a year!)

16. You will need hairbrush(es) and comb(s) for the baby. ($6.87 each)

17. You will need digital thermometer(s). ($10.27 each)

18. You will need humidifier(s)/vaporizer(s) ($35.42 each) for when the baby gets sick and you probably ought to pick up nasal aspirator(s) ($2.01 each) and medicine dropper(s) ($1.97 each) while you are at the store!

19. You will need toothbrush(es). ($ .89 each)

20. You will need baby monitor(s). So you can hear when the baby is crying. ($25.00 each)

21. Do you have stairs in your house? You will need stairway gate(s) to protect the baby from falling down the stairs. ($9.96 each)

22. You will need drawer latches ($ .13 each) and outlet plug covers ($ .09 each) so the baby doesn't get into things he/she shouldn't. ($ each)

23. You will need baby bathtub(s). ($14.39 each)

24. You will need baby washcloths. ($ .79 each) (Don't forget to get enough for when you haven't had time to do the laundry!)

25. You will need bathtub ring ($8.96 each) and faucet protector(s) ($2.00 each) so baby can be independent in the bath.

26. You will need hooded towel(s) to keep the baby warm after the bath. ($6.00 each)

27. You will need to buy : (Remember you are buying for a year!)
baby soap(s) ($2.77 each),
baby lotion(s) ($2.81 each),
baby powder(s) ($2.00 each),
baby oil(s) ($2.80 each),
diaper rash ointment(s). ($3.50 each)

28. You will need to buy boxes of laundry detergent for baby clothes! ($4.89 each) (Hint - About 2 a month!)

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DIAPERS
(Remember, you are buying for a year!)

29. You will need to buy disposable diapers. ($ .30 each) (Hint - you will use about 75 diapers a week and about 320 diapers a month)

30. Even if you are using disposables, cloth diapers come in handy as burp/spit towels!
You decide to buy

dozen to keep on hand. ($12.00 each)

31. You will need to buy boxes of baby wipes. ($2.97 each) (Hint - you will use about 2 a month).

32. You will need to buy diaper bag(s). ($15.00 each)

33. You will need to buy cloth diapers if you choose to use them instead of disposable. ($12.00 each) (Hint - You should have at least 3 dozen clean diapers on hand).

34. You will need to buy diaper pail(s). ($17.95 each)

35. You will need to buy diaper cover(s). ($1.59 each)

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FEEDING BABY
(Remember, you are buying for a year!)

If you plan on breast-feeding the Baby:

36. You will need to buy breast pump(s) if you plan on nursing while you are in school or working. ($24.98 each)

37. You will need to buy nursing pad(s). ($ .58 each) (Hint - about 3-4 a day)

38. You will need to buy nursing bra(s). ($14.00 each) (Hint - you will need extras because of how quickly they need to be laundered!)

39. You will need to buy pacifiers. ($1.34 each) (Better buy a few extra - for the ones that end up getting misplaced).

40. You will need to buy pacifier holders. ($1.76 each)

If you plan on using formula:

41. You will need to buy cans of formula. ($3.65 each) (Hint - you will use 7-8 a week and about 32 a month).

42. You will need to buy packages of wipes. ($2.97 each) (Hint - 2 a month).

43. You will need to buy 4 oz. bottles. ($ .99 each)

44. You will need to buy 8 oz bottles. Don't forget to get enough to allow for breakage and having a couple of spares. ($1.65 each)

45. You will need to buy bottle brush(es) to clean the bottles. ($2.00 each)

46. You will need to buy boxes of bottle inserts if you plan on using them. ($3.43 each) (Hint - about 4 a month).

47. You will need to buy nipple(s) for the bottles. These are in addition to your bottles! ($ .30 each)

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CONGRATULATIONS!
(Remember, you are buying for a year!)

The good news is your baby is getting bigger and more independent. The bad news is there are more expenses involved!

48. Your baby is growing - you now need a toddler car seat.
Enter 1 here to buy a toddler car seat. ($55.00)

49. You will need to buy jars of baby food. ($ .47 each) (Hint - Babies begin on solid foods at about 6 months.)

50. You will need high chair(s). ($47.00 each)

51. You will need to buy childproof plates and bowls. ($3.96 each)

52. You will need to buy infant spoons. ($ .94 each)

53. You will need to buy cloth bibs. ($2.75 each)

54. You will need to buy plastic bibs. ($1.96 each)

55. You will need to buy no-spill cups. ($1.73 each)

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CLOTHING
(Remember, you are buying for a year!)

56. You will need to buy sleepers. ($4.95 each)

57. You will need to buy hats. ($2.78 each)

58. You will need to buy booties. ($2.39 each)

59. You will need to buy gowns. ($6.00 each)

60. You will need to buy outfits. ($12.00 each)

61. You will need to buy socks. ($2.48 each)

62. You will need to buy coats. ($24.00 each)

63. You will need to buy warm suits. ($18.00 each)

64. You will need to buy shirts. ($6.45 each)

65. You will need to buy pants. ($9.18 each)

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ADDITIONAL ITEMS

Not necessary items, but they sure make life easier!

66. You decide to buy carrier(s). ($40.00 each)

67. You decide to buy stroller(s). ($48.00 each)

68. You decide to buy play yard. ($60.00)

69. You decide to buy extra diaper bag(s). ($15.00 each)

70. You decide to buy swing(s). ($80.00 each)

71. You decide to buy doorway jumper(s). ($20.00 each)

72. You decide to buy small toys. ($8.00 each)

73. You decide to buy books. ($3.00 each)

74. You decide to get set(s) of pictures taken. ($30.00 each)

75. You decide to buy yard toys. ($48.00 each)

All together it will cost

This is the amount using only the bare minimum of items. Such as the places that say “7” are only intended for one a day. Obviously, the child will need more clothing than just 7 outfits.

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This is a brief insight into the costs of having a baby. Bottom of Form

Pregnancy with a Side of Adoption

April 16, 2008

Opening shots will be of many different ultra sound pictures and during this montage, the song “FROM GOD'S ARMS TO MY ARMS TO YOURS” will be playing. After the song plays once through, the camera will cut to the narrator sitting in the Lourdes hospital nursery as they say:

There are 133 million births each year. That is 247 births every minute, or four babies born every second. Each year in the United States, there are approximately 120,000 adoptions. Slightly more than half of these are related adoptions, meaning the person or persons adopting the child are a blood relation or stepparent of the child. The remaining adoptions are unrelated adoptions, meaning the person or persons adopting the child are not related to the child. In addition, between 12,000 and 15,000 children born in foreign countries are adopted by U.S. residents each year. (Atkinson)

After the narrator finishes talking, she will be walking down the hospital halls to a birthing room where she will peek her head in and see a woman giving her son to a couple. Then she will say,

It takes courage, dignity and an unselfish person to love their baby so much to want to give him or her a better life. Not every adoption case is that way, but this one is and many are. Though there is a long process, adoption can be a miraculous thing. The giving of a human life to a couple whom really wants to take care and raise a child is not only a difficult step for a biological family, but a proud moment. There is no telling what brought these two families together, no way to know what the future will bring either… for we are just a set of eyes watching from the doorway. We are just a passerby.

First interview: Nicole Lester and husband adopted Nicole’s younger sisters’ baby after hearing she was pregnant. The camera will show Nicole and her husband playing with Jane in a park then it will cut to a bench where the interview will take place.

“Since we first got married we always wanted to have children. We found out in the first 2 yrs we couldn’t have children. After trying fertility treatments and no successes we decided to adopt. We proceeded with adoption and Jane was born on March 17, 1996 and we adopted her 6 months later. The day we brought her home was really emotional. I felt as thought I was stealing this perfect child...but the birthmother told us..."she is a gift," and she is right! We have an open adoption. She and the birthfather visit 3 or 4 times a month. I cannot predict the future, but so far this has been wonderful. I think the key to a successful open adoption is keeping in mind what is the BEST for the child. To all birthmothers, I commend you for having the courage to choose a life for your child that you cannot provide at a given moment. It is with the utmost love and unselfishness that such a decision is made.” (Lester)

Second interview: Leslie Carwright will be show caring for her baby at home then cut to the living room for the interview.

“We wanted the baby God had planned for us, and in the end we know that she was created just for us! We definitely wanted her needs to be taken care of; after all, she was carrying a child that she would soon entrust to us, and call us her parents. The gift she was giving us was so pure and sweet and done with so much strength, maturity and love, that we wanted to mirror our deep heartfelt gratitude back to her for the precious gift she was giving us, her baby, now our daughter, and yes, even her own self. God brought us together over an internet lead, which led to a meeting and that lead to a match meeting with our birth mom. She chose a semi open adoption plan, and wanted us to be able to be at appointments as we wanted to be, and the birthing was untouched as it needed to be her choice, which she ultimately chose to have us there, and we were so very glad because we were the first to hold and feed our baby girl, and we were able to be there for our dear birth mom and help meet her needs and share with her on this special day that she brought our daughter into this world! It was a beautiful time that we anticipate sharing with our daughter when the time is right, though we plan to plant seeds about her adoption from the beginning.” (Carwright)

The camera will then cut to the narrator sitting in an adoption agency as she says,

Most adoptions happen through agencies. There are steps that are taken to make sure the birth parents choose a family they feel will take care of their unborn child the best. There are letters that can be read, pictures to be seen, names to scan over, biographies and in some instances a meeting is set up.

“Children leave one family and join another... They experience changes, they adjust, they grow, they learn, they love, they grieve, they wonder, they question, they know, adoption is forever, a part of who they are.” (The Family and Children’s Society)

After that interview is finished, the camera will cut to a teenage girls’ bedroom with the song “Clocks” by Coldplay playing the background. After a minute of the song playing, the camera will show the teenage girl in the corner reading her diary aloud:

“Sometimes I do joke about things. Like my mother’s obsession with having Sparkling Grape Juice every New Years Eve even after I became the legal age for drinking, or my father’s way of saying his brains are leaking through his head because of a mole or something that is on his skull, or my sister Shannon’s way teaching me how drink liquor at age 11. There are just some things I do not joke about however. Such as, Coldplay is the best band ever, and pregnancy with a side of adoption.

I never was the one that was popular in school. I wore jeans outdated by centuries, shits that had weird sayings on them like, “There's a lot of stuff in hot dogs.” No one really liked it, not even Andrea Simmons, my best friend who wore the matching shirt just to make me happy once. I am not a geek in high school. I don’t like the communications kids who are all about the audio visual department. I am not a nerd either. I don’t hang out in the library working on other people’s homework while mine sits to collect dust and eventually ends up with a C- or D on the top in red ink with a note attached saying, “See me after class.” I am not preppy. I didn’t not try out for cheerleading any season just so that the male ‘ya-ya-shish-boom-ba’ ones could put me in the air for a pyramid to sneak a peek at my cash and prizes under my skirt. However, I did make the squad for one season and only was base, flying was out of my league. I guess I am not in a clique in school. I am just trying to make it through without a bunch of unneeded drama.

However, yesterday I found out I was pregnant. Talk about High School drama! ”

At that time, the girl will move to her bed where she says,

“That was my life, my reality… four years ago when I was 19-years-old. I came out of a bad relationship, thought I was ready to move on -- until I peed on that $20.00 stick that held the answer to my future. And as I suspected, the lines showed… and I was pregnant. I remember throwing it at my best friend who was there for moral support. I hated the result and was ready to sue CVS and e.p.t.® Pregnancy Test because I was certain the test was wrong. For CVS, it was a how-dare-you-sell-me-a-defective-pregnancy-test thing.

To make a long story short and I can guarantee it would be long; I had a baby 9 months later. Everyone I wanted there was there. My mom, me, the nurse, the midwife… and a lovely couple I would end up treasuring for the rest of my life. Chad and Christina; they stood there, one holding my hand as I screamed in pain, the other biting her nails as she watched her son be born.

At 2:22am on rainy Monday morning in July, Ethan was born.”

At that time, the girl will begin to tell us the details of her pregnancy and adoption.

“It was scary; there is no doubt about that. I think that any unplanned pregnancy is scary no matter what the circumstances or nature of how it happened is. I don’t think what scared me most was the fact that I was still only a senior in high school and that I would be graduating eight months pregnant, I think it was the feeling of letting down people like my mother. Her find out that I was not as responsible as I had led myself on to be and that now I was stuck in a position where I had to be adult and figure out what would be best for my unborn baby.

I laid the options out in my head and went through them one by one. Wondering why I made the choices I did, thinking how stupid I was for believe the father of this baby loved me, and how ridiculous I would look in maternity jeans with elastic waists. My options were all the same as everyone else’s who has ever been in my position. 1. Keep the baby and raise it, 2. Adoption and 3. Abortion (and no matter how many times I said this list to myself, abortion always seemed not to be an option for me.)

I don’t think I came to the realization that I couldn’t keep the baby, I think it was already a commonsense kind of thing. There was no way I could do that, I was not fit to be a mother and not ready to play “house.”

Adoption became not only my selection, but a whole new and scary experience for me. I don’t know how I choose Chad and Christina. I don’t know why either. I think that somehow, the little unborn in life inside of me was telling me that he or she wanted them for parents. I know it is impossible, but I believe it.

I remember telling them I was pregnant, and two seconds later after that, we were all agreeing they would adopt. I am sure they remember the day more precisely, but to me the details are vague.

Now that I think about it, the nine months went fast and my belly grew so much it looked like I had eaten 50 watermelons whole. They were there for me the whole time. Accompanying me to the doctors and ultra sounds, paying for all the bills and making sure I got what I needed. The day of the delivery came fast and went fast. I can’t believe it has been almost four years ago when I held that little boy Ethan in my arms and told him he would have the best parents and life he could ask for. I meant that when I said it to him, and I was right. He has the family he deserved… the one I couldn’t give him.

I just hope he understands.”

At that time, a montage of pictures will begin. Each time the montage changes, there will be two pictures, one of the baby with the biological family and one with the adoptive family, after about 5 of those, there will be pictures of kids waiting to be adopted while the song “FROM GOD'S ARMS TO MY ARMS TO YOURS” will be playing. At the end of the montage, a list of adoption services will run through with the following for Broome County:

Family & Children's Society: Counseling & Adoption Services

- www.familycs.org - (607) 729-6206

All Woman’s Help Center

- (607) 723-3342

New Hope Family Services

- www.newhopefamilyservices.com- (315) 448-2300

Catholic Charities of Broome: Pregnancy Parenting & Adoption

- www.catholiccharitiesbc.org - (607) 729-9166

For places and services in your area, type ‘adoption services’ and your city and state in Google.

The music will fade and the credits will roll.

Work Cited

Atkinson, Jeff. The American Bar Association GUIDE TO FAMILY LAW. New York: Random

House, 1996.

Carwright, Leslie. Interview. 26 March 2008

Lester, Nicole. Interview. 5 April 2008

The Family and Children’s Society. http://www.familycs.org/program.aspx?pID=42&sID=2.

5 April 2008

FROM GOD'S ARMS TO MY ARMS TO YOURS

With so many wrong decisions in my past, I'm not quite sure.
If I can ever hope to trust my judgment anymore.
But lately I've been thinking, 'cause it's all I've had to do.
And in my heart I feel that I should give this child to you.

[Chorus]

And maybe, you can tell your baby when you love him so that he's been loved before.
By someone who delivered your son, From God's arms to my arm's to yours.
Now if you choose to tell him and if he wants to know.
How the one who gave him life could bear to let him go.
Just tell him there were sleepless nights I prayed and paced the floors.
And knew the only peace I'd find is if this child was yours.

{Repeat Chorus}

Now I know you don't have to do this, but could you kiss him once for me?
The first time that he ties his shoes or falls and skins his knee,
And could you hold him twice as long when he makes his mistakes.
Tell him that he's not alone, sometimes that's all it takes -
I know how much he'll ache.

This may not be the answer for another girl like me.
And I'm not on a soapbox saying how we all should be.
I'm just trusting in my feelings and I'm trusting God above.
And I'm trusting you can give our baby both his mother's love.

{Repeat Chorus}

Lyrics and music is copyrighted by Michael McLean.
The song's original album is called "One Heart in the Right Place"

No Turning Back

She hadn’t seen him in awhile; then again, “awhile” to her was in all reality only a week. She didn’t want to see him. Just the thoughts of being in his presence made her body go numb. She felt powerless when she was with him. He always seemed like a lion ready to pounce and sink his razor sharp teeth into her when she said the wrong thing. And even now, when she had gotten away from him, he made her feel uncomfortable.

Yet, she felt she was supposed to impress him. She fluffed her hair and pressed together her lips, making sure her Velvet Rose lipstick was evenly spread around. She had chosen that color to match her red hair: color 97. She colored it that color only because he said he liked it. He liked it only because his favorite number and his racing number were 97. She hated it now and even thought about shaving her head so that the color would no longer be a remembrance of him.

She had almost chickened out in doing this, but her best friend said she had to tell him. She knew she had to- she had no choice. She owed it to herself to tell him. But she wasn’t going into this blind; she hadn’t forgotten what he had done to her or put her through. She still had every scar from his fists to remind her of him every day.

He’d be there too. She knew it. It was a trashy place down town. Somewhere with a completely opposite feel to it rather than the place they had met. He had been into these trashy places. The kind where half the lights in the sign were out, and if one hadn’t happened before she got there, a bar fight soon would take place. She didn’t have to look for his car, because he would be there. It caught her eye though, the shimmering of the blue paint and the silver flames jumped out at her as if to mock her as she walked by. He had probably just waxed it. He loved that car: a 1969 Ford Maverick that had a leaky roof and torn apart interior because he was more infatuated with the exterior.

There he was, by the bar sipping his Corona and lime as if he owned the place. Sitting on a bar stool with his hand on his tight jeans that hugged his tall scrawny legs, and his plaid button-down farmer shirt that in all honestly he looked absolutely gorgeous in.

He was surrounded by his usual cloud of smoke. She stayed by the door- she couldn’t inhale that in her condition. It was a fragile situation. So she waited until he noticed her.

When his eyes caught a glimpse of her, she could almost see him foaming at the mouth. “I thought I’d never see you again,” he said. His clothes smelled as if they were washed in tobacco and his breath smelled like beer. His words were toxic.

She wasn’t giving into his fake boyish charm. “You didn’t want to anyway.”

“I did. You look great.”

“You didn’t. You don’t care if I am even alive. And I didn’t come here to fish for compliments. Stop trying to win me over- we’ve already been there, and I am not going back again.”

“Why you here then?” He seemed to give up on trying to impress her quickly and she was correcting his grammar in her mind.

“I need to tell you-“

“Nope, don’t care.” He cut her off like a slap to the face.

“I know. You never did. You know I am stubborn though. So I will…”

“Tell me.”

“I was going to.” Seconds seemed like years as they passed. She fumbled for the words that wouldn’t make him mad, but nothing seemed to fit together right. This was fire and dynamite she was playing with and any wrong word could lead to a deadly explosion. “I can’t. You said you’d throw me down the stairs if I ever told you this.”

“You have got to be kidding me!” His jaw dropped the same time his beer slipped out of his grip and shattered on the floor. She could almost see the steam coming out his ears and nose. His head looked like it was going to spin off like a tornado. She felt the cold liquid of his beer on her shoes.

“I am sorry. I didn’t mean to be-“

“You never mean anything.”

Why was she apologizing? This wasn’t just her fault. It takes two to tango, that is what her mother always said. But, “I am sorry” just kept coming out of her mouth like word vomit. She sobbed in front of him like a baby. Her tears running into her mouth and leaving a salt after taste, this was a taste she could relate to when she was around him.

“You’re not sorry! You never were for anything! And didn’t you learn your lesson from me about crying?” He raised his hand like he was going to slap her, but instead he grabbed her hand in his. “Your palms are sweaty.”

“They’ve been like this since I found out.” She yanked her hand away with a how-dare-you-think-about-touching-me look on her face. “But what do you care? You want to throw me down the stairs, right?”

He rolled his eyes as he lit another cigarette. “Better yet…” he had no emotion. He was empty inside. “There is a bridge nearby. Want to go for a walk?”

She didn’t laugh; he was smirking, but she didn’t laugh. “I knew you couldn’t be civil. What kind of role model would you be? I’ll deal with this myself. I don’t need you- I never have.”

“C’mon baby, don’t be like that. Stop walking away from me.” He almost sounded sincere.

“No, I should keep going. I will not be your puppet to any further extent and I am not only protecting myself anymore.”

Upside down Jack

March 15, 2008

Every since I have had a baby, I have been watching nothing but the NOGGIN or Nick Jr. station. Cartoons galore for people who do not know. Tarrah, my now year and half old daughter loves many shows on there, but I find myself raising a brow at some of them.

Having my daughter learn another language as well as English, I do not have a problem with. Especially if it is Spanish or French, the other two dominate languages. However, there is a new show called Ni Hao, Kai-lan. Not Spanish or French, but Chinese. It is not the fact that I do not want her to be bilingual or tri or quad or any other kind of lingual, it is the fact that she is only a year and half and I don’t think that she should be subject to too many other languages other than English and maybe Spanish.

There is another show called The Wonder Pets that has a guinea pig, turtle and duck that save other animals that are trouble using teamwork as a foundation for their rescues. Granted the story lines are good and educational, the only problem with the show is that the duck, also known as Ming Ming, speaks with a lisp. I don’t know if they did that on purpose, but I do not want my daughter to gain a lisp because of that. Therefore one of our house rules is no Wonder Pets.

The rest of the shows are pretty well rounded. My daughter has her favorites and I cannot argue with a little girl who continually wants to watch The Upside Down Show, A show that stars Shane Dundas and David Collins as two brothers who live together in a strange house with a variety of unusual rooms. Or Jacks Big Music Show, featuring Jack, his best friend Mary, and his drum-playing dog Mel, all of whom are puppets. The show takes place in Jack's backyard clubhouse, and centers on the characters' love for music.

There are more shows that I approve of, however these two are her favorite. She can also sit and watch Blue’s Clues, although sometimes, it is only Shane, David or Jack that can put a smile on her face.