2007 Poetry

Widow-2007

Her husband died

Back in ’41.

She remembers him every time

She looks at their son.

Same blue eyes

And hair of black velvet.

So handsome and strong,

She’s glad they ever met.

Her wedding ring sits on the night stand

By her bed when she sleeps.

Her tears soak her pillow,

She can’t help it that she weeps.

Her wrinkled hands clasp her necklace,

That he bought her long ago.

That tarnished old thing,

She just loved so.

As her last breathe is in sight,

No one thinks she does know…

That since June of 1941,

She has been a widow.

Me and My Lil' Goldfish-2007

Looking at me,
Wide-eyed and gold.
Sitting on the sill,
"He is special" is what I was told.
His little eyes,
Sleep at night.
But he loves the dark
And is scared of the light.
He swims with his eyes closed
And never opens them to see.
That tiny little fishbowl,
Is too itty bitty of a place for him to be.
He'd be a lot happier
Where he could spread his fins.
So I stuck him the tub with me,
Where we could rub our skins.
He and I live in there now,
Like we lived in the sea.
He and I have something in common,
We want to be free... just him and me.

Rubies-2007

Her face
Like white silk upon my skin
Her eyes
Reluctant to cross paths with mine.
It was only a matter of time
Before she fell in love.
She knew we were meant for one another
Our lives were intertwined
Connected, star crossed lovers destined to be together.

Her lips
Oh those lips.
They looked luscious,
They seemed to look as though they were lined.
Outlined with little beautiful rubies.
Diamonds would never do,
Her heart needed something more.
Something special,
Her heart needed rubies.

Sleeping Beauty-2007

To: Tarrah Rayne Allen

I sneak in your room

To see how you are doing at night.

I kiss you on the cheek

And readjust your night light.

I sweep the hair out of your face

And make sure you are snug.

Bring close your teddy bear

So you have something to hug.

I sang you to sleep

Just hours ago.

As your eyelids closed

Nice and slow.

My tired little girl

You a sleeping beauty to me.

My baby girl I can’t wait until morning,

Because it is you I can’t wait to see.

It Was Only Yesterday-2007

To: Grandma Snedeker

It was only yesterday,

When I saw you standing there.

Wallowing in the midst

And the fresh country air.

Starring at the paper,

Laid upon the table.

Looking for your name,

And every time… unable.

Not once did it say Emma,

And with a grin you’d say, “I must still have some breath.”

Then I would smile and ask,

“Grandma, have I escaped death?”

You’d search for my name,

And point and say,

“Yup Ashley, you are not in it today.”

But I must have missed it.

It slipped under my nose.

Today I sit next to your grave,

Laying down a rose.

So I ponder,

While sitting in your chair…

It was only yesterday,

When I saw you standing there.

Sleepy Sleepy-2007

To: Tarrah Allen

Sleepy sleepy,

In your bed

Tiny little fairies,

They dance in your head.

Bottles and pacifiers,

They are all a dream,

But you will get them when you awake,

With a cry or a scream

My tiny Tarrah,

Slip away…goodnight,

Mommy will come hold you,

When the sun turns on its light

For now my dear,

Take this kiss... don’t make a peep,

For you are tired. It is time to sleep.

Love: What it is made of-2007

With every bite, every sip,

Every step, breathe and blink,

You can feel it.

Like a shoe, like a glove,

Like a dress, ring and your favorite shirt,

It will fit.

It taints your day.

Whispers in your ear,

And makes you think.

The words he said,

The kiss you shared,

And that little wink…

It was beautiful,

Extraordinary,

It made you want it more.

It touched you.

Your skin was covered with goose bumps,

And shot into your heart- straight to the core.

With every bite, every sip,

Every step, breathe and blink,

You know it is love.

Because it makes you melt,

Makes you think,

THIS IS WHAT IT IS MADE OF!

FOOLISH-2007

I feel so foolish,

Looking you in the eyes,

Since I let you go,

My life has been nothing but lies.

I say I don’t love you,

I pretend not to know,

The reason you got up and left,

The reason you decided to go.

I don’t want you to hate me,

But this feeling I cannot shake.

I do love you deep inside,

And it is getting hard to fake.

There is the necklace

Close to my heart I keep.

But when I hold it in my hand,

I cannot help but weep.

The memories you left me with,

Have not faded away…

They still live on with the pain of “goodbye”

And awfully painful day.

He isn’t him… Anymore-2007

He never opens the door for me,

He used to, but then it slipped away.

He never kisses me goodnight anymore,

He used to, but then it too slipped away.

He never looks at me like a lover,

He never looks deep into my eyes…

You know the kind of look that pierces your heart?

He never wears that shirt,

The one I bought him and told him he looked sexy in.

He isn’t the guy I met,

The guy I fell in love with,

The guy I decided I wanted to be with…

He isn’t him… anymore.

SO WHAT!~2007

You look at me, and all you see,

Are flaws and imperfections.

I can’t shop in the juniors or misses,

But that is fine; I don’t even like those selections.

I look in the mirror…

There is my baby gut…

I know it turns you off…

BUT SO WHAT!

I turn around-

And there is my big butt…

I like my “badonkadonk”

BUT SO WHAT!

I have the stretch marks on my belly,

The handles on each side.

I have to wear bigger jeans,

But that won’t take away my pride.

These marks and extras I gained,

From the two joys I have in my life…

They are badges of motherhood,

And there is no chance of going under the knife.

I may not look like

Who you want me to be…

I guess you aren’t worth it,

If you can accept me, for me.

Tyra Banks opened my eyes,

To the beauty I portray.

To this 162 pounds of imperfection,

This is all I want to say…

SO WHAT!

45 minutes from midnight-2007

About Tarrah Allen

45 minutes from midnight,

And I cannot get to sleep.

My daughter is keeping me awake,

She must think this is a joke.

She is watching Seinfeld,

And I am get my keyboard soaked.

My head fell on the keyboard,

About 15 minutes ago.

I have red buttons on my cheek

And drool running down too.

I wish I was in bed,

I wish she was too.

She does this every night,

It’s more like a tradition here now.

How I wish I could just sleep-

But I am always up from dark to light.

A never run-down, never stop mom,

Its 45 minutes from midnight.

Spiedie Fest- 2007

My feet feel like I have walked 500 miles…

or more.

My shoulders are red,

and I feel like I going to fall to the floor.

I saw all the vendors,

Concerts and hot air balloon flights.

I ate all the spiedies I could,

And now I am ready for some sleep the next couple of nights.

I ended up leaving a wreck from the heat sun and sweat,

Even though I tried to look my best.

For all the acts and celebrities I met today...

At the Spiedie Fest.

Until You- 2007

His eyes were piercing,

His voice stung my ears.

I haven’t seen him lately,

It has been many years.

I can’t recall too much,

But his face I will never forget.

His eyes were an ocean blue

From the moment we met.

His hair so blonde and thick,

I could run my fingers right through.

He is the person I loved,

Until he fell in love with you.

His eyes were piercing,

His voice stung my ears.

I haven’t seen him lately,

It has been many years.

Sleepless-2007

I am going to sleep

I am closing my eyes.

I am lying next to you

In a bed of lies.

My heart is racing,

I can’t stay still.

We have lost our passion

There is no thrill.

The pillow is between us

The stage has been set.

We are no longer together,

Our love is our greatest debt.

We breathe the same air

We sleep between the same sheets.

But we are lost in time,

Traveling different streets.

We haven’t said goodbye

Because anything “good,” we cannot justify.

You sleep, I cry…

You breathe, I sigh.

The room is darkened,

Like our hearts have been as well.

We must say farewell,

But time will only tell.

Love, Out of the Context of Goodbye-2007

To: Grandpa Snedeker

I love you.

He may not have said it.

My mom says he felt it.

I trust that he did-

Maybe we weren’t close enough

For him to let me know.

He sat in his recliner.

It was his safe haven.

Both of his hands

Were placed gently

On the arm rests.

His old frail fingers

Would twitch

As if uncontrollably by nerves.

His face was weathered

From many nights

Chopping wood for the fire,

Early mornings

Deer hunting.

His skin made of leather from the smoke

That set in from the cigarettes.

Brut slithered out of his pores

Like worms from their holes

In a warm summer rain.

He was stubborn about his recliner.

Never was bothered to move it.

He bickered about dust

Falling on his head from the vent above

In my grandmothers bedroom.

He’d shake his head,

Pat it off his hair,

And go back to watching Lawrence Welk.

He probably knew it was me

Making that annoying dust fall.

It wasn’t because I was playing

With the vent,

I just enjoyed peering

Down at him from there.

That was where I could bond

With him

Without him knowing.

That is where I felt love for him

From afar.

Where I whispered I love you…

Only because

I was too afraid

To tell him

Out of the context of

Goodbye.

Standing In Your Shadow-2007

I am standing in your shadow

Searching for you face on the ground.

I am standing in your shadow

Embracing you all around.

You aren’t over looking me

I am kneeling behind your feet.

Breathing in your breath

Laying in your shadow on the street.

No! Don’t move…

For I am still here.

I cannot be outside your shadow,

That is something I fear.

I am stianding in your shadow,

Basking in the black

Falling in love with you…

From the back.

City Bus -2007

I am riding a city bus

With my nose stuck in a notebook

Reading poems

I wrote to you

And poems

You wrote to me

Hoping I might

Catch something

I missed before

Definitions of our love

Lost-

In translations

Of complicated words

Lifting my head

Momentarily-

Just to look out

My slightly tinted dirty

Bus window

Hoping perhaps

I’d see your car

Sitting at beneath eye level

At the same red light

You- fixing

Your 1990 style sunglasses

And changing songs on the cd

You can’t push yourself to take out of the stereo.

Maybe I’d catch you

In a moment

Where you would be thinking

Of me

Mimicking the words to the song

Slightly because

You don’t want anyone to see you doing that

Our song

The slow one we danced to

Or maybe I believed the bus

Would happen to go by your house

But then again

There are just some streets

City buses don’t go.

He was There- 2007

He stood out from everyone else,

He was always in black.

He was the only one

Who’d be caught dead

In a Hulk Hogan

Head-to-toe wardrobe.

He was the only one

Who could carry

A piece of paper

On his perfectly

Squared-off hair.

He was there-

Behind every door

Around every corner

Pretending to be there

For some other reason.

He tried to be

Nonchalant,

But he didn’t even know

What that word meant.

I knew he was there

For one reason

ONLY…

For me.

As I moved

He moved.

He footsteps were like

Boulders falling to the floor.

His eyes drilling a hole

Through the back of my head-

I knew he

Was starring me down.

His warm clammy hands…

I knew he was longing

To touch me with them.

He’d poke at my neck

Or pet it with one finger

Like I was a mouse…

He was strange like that.

I wanted to run,

But to where?

No matter where I’d go,

He’d always be there,

Behind the next door

Or around the next corner…

Waiting on…

Me.

Hallmark Christmas Card- 2007

She is so beautiful, from the blondest curl to her blackest little shoe.

Big blue eyes that hold so much wonder and joy too.

Watching the snow fall,

Knowing Christmas will arrive here soon.

Wishing on every little star,

And talking to the man on the moon.

Sleep tight my little Tarrah,

Morning will bring some cheer,

As you gather around the tree~

With ones who hold you so dear.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!