April 2, 2010
If I told you my relationship failed because I am useless, inadequate, unpretty and apparently very much not relationship material- you may say something like, “Oh, she just wants all the pity.”
If I told you my relationship failed because of him… it was his entire fault, he expected everything from me and did nothing himself- you may say something like, “Her ego is too big and she must think her crap don’t smell either.”
Either way though, it seems like people’s outlook on the ending of relationships always leaves one or the other looking bad. It always seems to be a “finger-pointing party,” where it is either all her fault or all his for not doing something or another.
Pretty much when things go rotten in a relationship, if the couple doesn’t have the same group of friends, then usually, he complains to his friends about all of her flaws, and she complains to her group of friends about his, making each group think very poorly about the other person.
Like I said, it is guaranteed that her friends will stand by her, and his by him, because neither group is getting both sides of the story- unless you have the same group of friends and they are, for sure, hearing both sides and therefore can judge for themselves whom they think is the cause of all the sourness and for the relationship going south.
Sometimes, when a relationship breaks a girl’s heart, or doesn’t exceed her expectations, she drowns her sorrows in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s (or whatever brand she may like), turn on a depressing movie, and sob.
A couple movies come to mind when I think about ending relationships:
1. “He’s Just Not That Into You.”[1] Starring people such as Justin Long, Scarlett Johansson, Ginnifer Goodwin, Bradley Cooper, Ben Affleck, and Jennifer Aniston.
Great movie… if you want to be told the complete and utter truth about guys and their ways and ultimately never want to be happy again. This is the kind of movie that makes you over analyze for the rest of your life. Every time when in a relationship or meeting a guy, trying to interpret him and his actions or words. Reading between the lines, if you will.
In complete honesty- Good movie, but makes girls want to become either nuns or lesbians and never go men again.
2. “I Hate Valentine’s Day.”[2] Starring people such as Nia Vardalos and John Corbett. The problem with this movie is the same problem I found with the next movie I will talk about, and the problem is… the ending. Throughout the whole movie, you are into it, you are feeling what is happening, you start to really see Genevieve’s point of view in having only five dates and no more because when relationships happen and develop, they are nothing but unhappiness. (Of course, us girls would see the point in that theory if we are sulking in our own failed relationship at the time.) But, like always when we are feeling the story line, there it is, waiting for us… the FAIRYTALE ENDING! Of course Greg would come to her window. Of course he would have a band playing jazz music. Of course he would be singing the song she sang at karaoke even though he doesn’t like to sing in public. Of course all of her friends and family would be there too just to make a makeshift heart in the middle of an empty street in Brooklyn. Of course, of course, of course… because that happens all the time, especially in real life! (Pause…) NOT!
3. “Someone Like You.”[3] Starring Ashley Judd, Hugh Jackman, Greg Kinnear and Marisa Tomei. This movie, like stated in #2, has that fairytale ending that us girls don’t really want to see, but know that it will happen. This movie however, entails a wonderful theory that Jane Goodale researches. This theory labels dumped women as old cows and therefore comparing men to male animals. This suggested that the male would move on to a new cow after a while and not come back to the previous one because it was already tainted, for lack of a better word. Perhaps Jane had a good point. There are very few relationships that rekindle after having ended badly. Then again, can that theory be switched too? Could there be a label like such for dumped men? I don’t know- but as much as the movie makes you think and want to research the “old cows,” Jane finds a fairytale at the end of the movie.
So what does this mean? Is everyone eventually able to find a fairytale in their life? Is there a happy ending somewhere for everyone? I don’t know the answer to that either.
I do know that people come in and out of our lives all the time, and if relationships end, they end. That’s it. For now, I guess a pint of Ben & Jerry’s is a good idea.
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