A New Life to Deal With

August 19, 2009

When I was 19 years old, I found out I was three months pregnant with my first child. I was still in high school and just recently moved back in with my mom. I had been living with my boyfriend and his parents for almost six months when I decided I couldn’t take it anymore. It was an abusive relationship that I think I would have died in if I didn’t get out. When I got back home to my mom, it was Thanksgiving. When I found out in early December of 2003 that I was pregnant, I immediately called my ex-boyfriend and told him. His exact words were, “Good thing you still don’t live here with me, because I would have thrown you down the stairs to make sure you didn’t have that baby.” He continually asked me to have an abortion, but I never wanted that. I didn’t believe in it and definitely didn’t think it was right for me. I was scared like anyone else who is young and unwed and now unexpectedly pregnant. I had really only one choice to make, and whatever that decision would be- it would impact the life my unborn child forever.

By the time I showed up at the Life Choices Center (then called The All Woman’s Help Center), I had already decided on adoption and found a couple ready and eager to become the adoptive parents of my child. A lot of things were testing me when I was pregnant. I had Satan telling me to have an abortion and God telling me that giving this child life was the best gift I could give him or her. I had classes every week with Della. At the time, the Life Choices Center wasn’t too familiar with dealing with a young woman that was giving her child up for adoption. There were no classes for it, no videos to watch, nothing that would really help me after the fact of the adoption. But Della really filled in the blanks. She made me comfortable with the fact that I was making the right choice and that this may not be an easy road, but it was a better alternative than abortion. For the first time, I was able to know what was happening inside of me. I was able to know that she was there when I needed to talk and she understood without being judgmental.

I was an emotional mess. I was scared to go to school with a growing belly, knowing that I would be graduating with the concern that I could go into labor that same day. It was hard walking the halls of my school that senior year, my belly surpassing my feet, and me being the only one with a backpack with wheels, because I couldn’t lift too much. But somehow- the same school that I feared being rejected and I had been before I was pregnant now accepted me with open arms. I don’t think it is because they thought it was cool for me to be pregnant, but they knew my situation, knew I was scared and that I must be on the brink of going crazy with all the decision I had to make, and they were sincere in helping me. I had friends and they wanted to know all about the pregnancy. They helped me with my books and walked me to my car, and I felt accepted more than I felt like I was an outsider. They didn’t make me feel like I did something wrong and that would haunt me for the rest of my life. But I think that the reason I felt that was because it started at the Life Choices Center. Before I was accepted elsewhere, I was accepted there by Della and all her coworkers.

I was getting points for doing different things that I already did in my everyday life, like” Get good grades, go to work, go to church… etc. I was able to use those points to get things I needed for me and the baby. It was great to be able to check in with her and let her know the details of how the adoption was going and deciding things for when the day came. Della really helped me know that my walk with the Lord would help me the most. And to this day she is right.

The Life Choices Center changed the way I felt about this pregnancy. In the beginning I just wanted it to be over. I wanted the nine months to go so fast that I couldn’t remember it. But with help from Della, I was able to cherish the fact that I did something great by not only giving my biological son Ethan life, but I gave a couple something they tried so long to have. And thanks to the center, I can now explain in a good way, why I did what I did when Ethan’s questions arise.