Amazing Intelligence

January 21, 2008

An African Proverb says, “It does take a village, to work with the family, to raise a child and weather the storms of life.” Maybe that was true a long time ago, but nowadays, we can’t trust anyone but the parents to raise a child right. And sometimes, we can’t even trust them to do it right.

Ever since I have had my daughter, I feel like I have been trying to shield her from the woes of the world: the language, the crimes, the heartache and heartbreak. And I know that no matter how much I try, how many TV stations I block, how many times I try to censor my words, something is bound to get into her little brain and “infect” it.

As I watch my 15-month-old daughter go through her life, I am amazed at how much she picks up on things and not only understands, but repeats them. She just started saying the word “no,” and now says it 100 times daily. I know that a lot of the time kids say things just to hear themselves talk.

We can’t shield our kids from everything, and if we could I am sure it would kill them. All we can do is teach kids right from wrong and lead them down the right path. Whether they comply with it or not is a different subject.

©COPYRIGHT 2008 ASHLEY B.VINCENT

There is nothing in the Medicine Cabinet

January 18, 2008

Nothing could prepare me the night my daughter woke up at two a.m. screaming bloody murder. I read What to Expect the First Year, but everything in that book flew out of my mind when her tiny voice yelled for me.

She wasn’t running a fever, but she was congested and her nose was like a geyser ready to blow. I wiped it off, gave her some Infants Motrin and she was back to sleep in no time. It was her teeth coming in. Oh what joy those months are when sleeping becomes foreign to you as a parent.

Now at 15-months-old, she was sleeping through the night, but it seemed that she was averaging 13 hours every night. This was unusual, since she was a go to bed late, wake up early kind of girl. The first morning she woke up after 13 hours though, she was accompanied by a new geyser in her nose. Mount Geyser of Tarrah is what I call it, and this thing sprung a leak like no other. Tissues disappeared like cookies, and it was no wonder why.

But when she began coughing, was this because of phlegm due to runny nose from more teething or because our strange winter season in Binghamton, had taken a toll on her health? And to make everything worse, “FDA Warns Parents Against Using Infant Cough and Cold Medicine.” My jaw dropped when I read the CNN headline, and there was now only one thing to do... call the doctor, who told me that all I could do is use saline nasal spray and buy a humidifier.

Nothing else was recommended for my child under two, and the last thing she said was, “wait it out, it will go away and she will be fine.” I knew she would be fine. The doctor didn’t need to tell me that. She is my daughter; she is a warrior against runny noses. I just wanted her to be “fine” sooner rather than later.

“The FDA has found in rare cases cough and cold products can cause death, and serious side effects,” Reported by: Michelle Paynter. As I passed the cough, cold and runny nose medicines in Target, I said to my daughter, “I would get you some medicine to help you feel better, but I don’t want to kill you.” It is amazing how our medicine cabinets are so bare now when it comes to children. Some of us just don’t know how to deal with it.

©COPYRIGHT 2008 ASHLEY B. VINCENT

Pinching Pennies or Spending Dimes

January 16, 2008

Being a mother with a single child, I always go into a store to buy one thing, and leave with more than I came for. Then again, I have to be honest with you and I, it isn’t her fault. I have always been a spendy gal, and by gosh, she doesn’t even talk yet to tell me she wants something.

Yet when I went to the Dollar Bazaar (to save some bucks on notebooks), I ended up spending 17 dollars on things I am almost positive I didn’t need. A fleece hat for my daughter, a big green squeaky fish for her bath, two packs of permanent markers, a pack of highlighters, some wet cat food (even though we have dry at home that the cat eats), cat treats, a sign to hang in the foyer about the cat… and the reason I got all this when I don’t need it? Because it was only a DOLLAR! What is deceiving is the sign to the dollar store says, “Everything is $1.00 or less,” so we go in loading up 15 carts with “it’s only a dollar” on our minds and at the register we ended up spending 100 dollars.

On The Ohio State University website, there is a Manage Your Money article written by Ella Mae Bard. She states, “Avoid exposing yourself to things that will tempt you to spend. Stay away from the stores except when you have something you absolutely need to buy. Avoid "just looking." Browsing can lead to buying. Make a list and stick to it.” How I would love to make a list and stick to it… the problem is places like the dollar store.

In this month’s Redbook magazine issue, Christine Larson wrote an article called Spend Less Have More. In this article that opened my eyes, she gave websites that can help with spending money or saving money.

· FREECYCLE.ORG- a place where more than 4 million people belong and list items they no longer want or need. And it’s not EBay... they are giving these items away for FREE!

· GROCERYGAME.COM- tracks sales and specials at the grocery stores around the country.

· COOLSAVINGS.COM or CURRENTCODES.COM- lists thousands of coupon codes that helps you do your online shopping.

With websites like these, I should have a college savings up and running in no time for my daughter. That means less junk in the house, and more money in the bank.

©COPYRIGHT 2008 ASHLEY B. VINCENT

Is 20-years-old… OLD?

January 16, 2008

There has never been a dull moment in my life. I was never a “party girl,” but I did have fun. I am still having fun. I have fun in a way I never expected. I am a mother, to a beautiful baby girl that brings so much joy into my life, any party ever could. I never needed to know what was going on any particular night, because I was positive it would be a blast, and that I would be partaking in it. Although, that was when I was 14, 15, 16-years-old, and I am now 22. You’d think that I am still having a blast every night, and partying until the cows come home. Nowadays, I am not partying until the cows come home; I am waiting for the man in my life to bring home money from his job so that I can go straight to the store for milk.

In a nutshell, I am a mother of a 15-month-old girl, a girlfriend, a student, and a housekeeper. I don’t have too many friends any more, and the ones I do have, are also mothers. Except for one, and she lives over the border into Pennsylvania, so we don’t see each other too often. Somehow though, other mothers find ways to “get out on the town.” and I don't know how, but given the choice, I am very happy with being a mom as often as I can be. It’s not that I am an antsy mother who is scared to leave her child, although I do call every five minutes just in case, it is the fact that I feel bad asking someone to take care of her for a couple hours while I go have fun. When I do head out to a movie or dinner with my boyfriend and leave my daughter with her grandparents, I have a hard time thinking of what I am missing.

I recently watched an episode of Reba on LIFE. Cheyenne said to her mom, “When did you realize you were old and your life was over? I feel like I know what every day is going to be like. I go to school, come home and I am a mother, and then tomorrow is the same and the day after too.” It was something that the audience was supposed to laugh at, but me, I was saying, “You are so right!”

Lately, women are having kids younger and younger. People say that we are too young to have kids, but to other women who want to have a baby at 39, people say that is too old. Where is the happy medium? Since I have a baby, like so many other young women my age do, does that mean our lives are pretty much over?

I have to say that not everyday is the same for me really. Yes, I do go to school… and I am a mother 24/7, but every day is new and exciting because my daughter learns and does something new every day and that makes me think, my life is just beginning.

©COPYRIGHT 2008 ASHLEY B. VINCENT

Pornography- What's Out There and Who Has Access

January 15, 2008

With one click of her mouse, my 14-year-old cousin was taken to myspice.com rather than myspace.com where she wanted to be. A site that can link you to others like Xxx-Sex-Tonight.com, or FreeHorny-Xxx.com; sites that obviously speak for themselves. For a lot of people, mistyping can be normal, but the place that could take you, could be inappropriate for the viewer.

Pornography is everywhere these days and it seems like society is becoming more immune to it. Pornography is any material depicting or describing the human body or sexual conduct in a way that arouses sexual feelings. It is distributed through many media, including magazines, books, television, movies, music, and the Internet. It is as harmful to the spirit as tobacco, alcohol, and drugs are to the body.

With the growth in internet site, there are an estimated 420 million adult web pages online. "For the person who has difficulty stopping, more is only one click away," says sex therapist Louanne Cole Weston, PhD.

However, the addicts are not the only ones who have access to these sites. Children end up finding them when they are not even being sought. A misspelled word could direct you to an eye full of porn rather than the local church website.

Yet, the internet is not all to blame. Some people have no problem leaving evidence of their viewing pleasures around for all to see. While I was putting down my daughter and my best friend’s daughter for a midday nap, I knocked something off the nightstand. When her daughter jumped off the bed to recover the fallen item, it was to my surprise it was a porn DVD. And that was not the only DVD lying around. I accumulated two more that weren’t in their rightfully owned spot, the second drawer of the nightstand.

There is no saying how much more open people can get about their viewing pleasures, and how much more society can take. The E! Channel on TV has done stories on Jenna Jameson and Howard Stern, leaving me to wonder how far porn will make it onto TV where it is all just out in the open.

©COPYRIGHT 2008 ASHLEY B. VINCENT

Wrong Love Led Me

Her heart was beating, and she couldn't understand why. They had just met two days ago. How could she already love him? Were these feelings actually love, or was it just something she felt?

He was tall with black hair and beautiful hazel eyes. None of her friends or family liked him, and they threatened to "disown" her if she decided to be with him. But she didn't care. She made up her mind... or so she thought... it was actually her heart she was following. She left her family and her friends, and never talked to them again for a long time.

Her relationship with him grew. They moved in together and were inseparable. She "loved" him. But time came to tell that, he didn't really love her. He was just pretending to. He treated her like his personal slave, his slave that he could boss around and then use for his own special uses. And when he felt like it, he would abuse her.

She finally got the nerve to say goodbye to him, but when she went back to her parents, she felt as if they were so ashamed of her. She felt as if no one loved her at all.

There was only one thing she could do. There was only one person that would hear her out and listen. So she got down on her knees, folded her hands, closed her eyes, and said: "Dear God, this is it. I never thought anyone loved me, but somehow I felt some love. And now I know the love I was feeling wasn't from him. The peace I found wasn't in him; it was all in you God. You are the love I have needed. The one thing I learned God is, all this time, I haven't been unloved, because you have loved me." - Ashley B. Vincent

Bottom Line: God's love is always there.

John 15:12-13~ 12 This is my commandment, That you love one another, as I have loved you. 13 Greater love have no man than this that a man lay down his life for his friends.

I John 4:8~ He that love, not know of God, for God is love.

Destination Points:

· Who in my life is taking me from God's love?

· Who is blinding me?

· Do I know God personally so I can feel his love?

· The name of someone who needs to know of God's love is: ___________________________

Boogying with Boogers

January 14, 2008

Off the top of our head we don’t know where boogers come from or what they are made of. We do know every little kid has them and they are disgusting to look at and even worse to touch.

While I was pregnant with my daughter, I babysat my best friend’s daughter, and every day when she was dropped off, her nose was covered in boogers; they were the kind that most consider “rocks.” I couldn’t clean them out, it made me sick. I could never touch another child’s boogers unless it was my own child. From that moment on, I vowed that my daughter’s nose would be booger free 24/7 after she was born.

From October 7, 2006, her nose never has boogers that stay in her nose for more than 5 minutes. Her nose is cleaned daily, mainly in the morning and before bed. Her nose is checked thoroughly and cleaned until it meets my approval. Whatever it takes, I do it. I have used my finger mainly because those little suckers hold on tight to her nostrils. I have used tissues, and even bobby pins. YES, bobby pins.

If I have to, I do this whenever necessary. I take her to a bathroom in public if I see her nose needs to be cleaned, then I will make sure she has it all cleared out. Many people look at me if they see me cleaning her nose and they give me a look of disgust that I am “picking” her nose. Then I look at their kids, and you can’t even see their nose through all the boogers.

I have touched a lot of disgusting stuff since I became a mother, and boogers are not the worst. We all should do a little “boogying” with the “goldmine” in our kid’s noses. It helps them breathe, and makes a better impression when the tots noses are booger free.

©COPYRIGHT 2008 ASHLEY B. VINCENT